Erlebnisse – experience, something that one has lived through, adventure; event of which one is cognizant; experiences we feel most deeply and through which we truly live.
Darren Walsh won the award for the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Festival Fringe with this line:
“I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans-free.”
The next nine were:
2: Stewart Francis: “Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse… but enough about Kanye West.”
3: Adam Hess: “Surely every car is a people carrier?”
4: Masai Graham: “What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.”
5: Dave Green: “If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go.”
6: Mark Nelson: “Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.”
7: Tom Parry: “Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day.”
=8: Alun Cochrane: “The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.”
=8: Simon Munnery: “Clowns divorce. Custardy battle.”
10: Grace The Child: “They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for…”
No doubt most would have been much funnier as part of a show than they are reading them cold on a screen.
The more risks you allow children to take, the better they learn to take care of themselves. – Roald Dahl
1071 Battle of Manzikert: The Seljuk Turks defeat the Byzantine Army at Manzikert.
1278 Ladislaus IV of Hungary and Rudolph I of Germany defeated Premysl Ottokar II of Bohemia in the Battle of Marchfield near Dürnkrut in (then) Moravia.
1346 Hundred Years’ War: the military supremacy of the English longbow over the French combination of crossbow and armoured knights was established at the Battle of Crécy.
1676 Robert Walpole, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, was born (d. 1745).
1768 The HM Bark Endeavour expedition under Captain James Cook set sail from England.
1778 The first recorded ascent of Triglav, the highest mountain in Slovenia.
1789 Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen approved by National Assembly at Palace of Versailles.
1819 Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, Prince Consort of the United Kingdom, was born (d. 1861).
1858 First news dispatch by telegraph.
1862 American Civil War: the Second Battle of Bull Run began.
1865 Arthur James Arnot, Scottish inventor, was born (d. 1946).
1866 – After two bungled attempts and near disaster at sea, the first communications cable between the North and South Islands of New Zealand was completed.
1875 John Buchan, 1st Baron Tweedsmuir, Scottish novelist, Governor General of Canada, was born (d. 1940).
1883 The 1883 eruption of Krakatoa began its final, paroxysmal, stage.
1894 The second Maori King, Tukaroto Matutaera Potatau Te Wherowhero Tawhiao, died.
1898 Peggy Guggenheim, American art collector, was born (d. 1979).
1904 Christopher Isherwood, English-born writer, was born (d. 1986).
1906 Albert Sabin, American polio researcher, was born (d. 1993).
1910 Mother Teresa, Nobel Peace Prize winning Christian missionary, was born (d. 1997).
1914 World War I: the German colony of Togoland was invaded by French and British forces.
1920 The 19th amendment to United States Constitution took effect, giving women the right to vote.
1940 Chad was the first French colony to join the Allies under the administration of Félix Éboué, France’s first black colonial governor.
1942 Holocaust in Chortkiv, western Ukraine: At 2.30 am the German Schutzpolizei started driving Jews out of their houses, divided them into groups of 120, packed them in freight cars and deported 2000 to Belzec death camp; 500 of the sick and children weremurdered on the spot.
1944 World War II: Charles de Gaulle entered Paris.
1957 The USSR announced the successful test of an ICBM – a “super long distance intercontinental multistage ballistic rocket … a few days ago,” according to the Soviet news agency, ITAR-TASS.
1978 Pope John Paul I was elected to the Papacy.
1978 – Sigmund Jähn became first German cosmonaut on board of the Soyuz 31 spacecraft.
1980 Macaulay Culkin, American actor, was born.
1982 David Long, New Zealand musician, was born.
1997 Beni-Ali massacre in Algeria; 60-100 people killed.
1999 – Russia began the Second Chechen War in response to the Invasion of Dagestan by the Islamic International Peacekeeping Brigade.
2002 – Earth Summit 2002 began in Johannesburg.
2011 – The Boeing 787 Dreamliner, Boeing’s all-new composite airliner, received certification from the EASA and the FAA.
Sourced from NZ History Online & Wikipedia