On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One afternoon the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is it?”
The tower responded, “Who is calling?”
The aircraft replied, “What difference does it make?”
The tower replied “It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an civilian flight, it is 3 o’clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to “Happy Hour.”
* * *
A pompous, new colonel had recently arrived at his new office when a soldier knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, gave the soldier permission to enter then said into the phone, “Yes, General, I’ll be seeing him this afternoon and I’ll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir.”
Satisfied that he had impressed the young soldier sufficiently, he asked, “What do you want?”
“Nothing important, sir,” the airman replied, “I’m just here to hook up your telephone.”