February 28, 2015
Social Media explained:
Twitter I’m eating a #donut
Facebook: I like Donuts and here’s an inspirational quote about them.
Four Square: This is where I eat donuts
Instagram: here’s a vintage photo of my donut
YouTube: Here I am eating a donut
LinkedIn: skills include donut eating
Pinterest: Here’s a donut recipe
LastFM: Now listening to “Donuts”
Google+ I’m a Google employee who eats donuts
Apropos of which:
February 21, 2015
A devout farm worker lost his favourite Bible while he was mending fences way out in the back country.
A couple of weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The worker wasn’t sure if he should believe what he was seeing.
He, reached out tentatively, took the precious book out of the sheep’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not really,” said the sheep. “Your name is written inside the cover.”
February 14, 2015
A very shy young man was in a pub with friends on Valentine’s Day night and spotted a beautiful young woman sitting alone at the bar.
After an hour of encouragement from his mates he finally went over to her and said tentatively, “Would you mind if I brought you a drink?”
She responded by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!”
Everyone in the pub started staring at them. Naturally, the bloke was terribly embarrassed and he slunk back to his table red-faced.
After a few minutes, the woman walked over to him, smiled and said, “I’m really sorry if I embarrassed you just then. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”
At this the man responds, at full volume, “What do you mean? $500?”