Olive and Mabel looking for love

Plant-based meat the natural way

Innovative New Process Converts Plants Into Meat By Feeding Them To Cows pic.twitter.com/VMpNKUHyDn

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) December 16, 2022

All I want for Christmas . . .

Dear Santa,

First, we know what it’s like to have to work when most of the country is sleeping or on holiday, so we’ll be sure to leave out fresh hay for the reindeer and some home-grown goodies for you.

We also know that economically things are looking grim so we’ve cut our list back to basics.

Enough sun – but not too much; enough rain, but not too much.

Markets that recognise the quality of our produce, the high standards of our practices and prices that recognise all of that.

Policies that follow the science not emotion and fashion.

A government that won’t sabotage pastoral farming when the world needs our food; rural communities need our business and involvement, and the country needs our export income.

Yours productively

Farmers

 

Dear Santa,

You gave me the best present ever in 2020 but it’s already tattered and tarnished, and the star dust has fallen off it.

A lot of the people who used to be happy watching me play with it are getting grumpy and some are even saying unkind things about me.

I’d really like a shiny new model for myself and I hope you won’t think I’m being greedy, but could I ask for new ones for my team that actually work?

Yours kindly

Jacinda

 

Dear Santa,

You gave me an early Christmas gift last year and it’s been fun learning how to make it work and seeing what I can do with it.

The training wheels are well and truly off now and even some of the media have come to accept that I’ve mastered it.

I’m certainly not bored with it, but I do think I’m ready for the full-power upgrade, even if I have to wait until late next year for you to deliver it.

Yours in leadership,

Chris

Saturday’s smiles

Top story from everybody: @BT0731: 'Baby elephant disrupting a TV reporter is the best part of today. ' pic.twitter.com/FkeT7bmF8c, see more https://t.co/qFtedK5ZlU

— Sakimin (@sakimin) November 15, 2022

 

Saturday’s smiles

It’s so dry that:

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The council closed two lanes of the town swimming pool.

When a country town finally got a brief shower it caused quite a commotion.  One of the town’s residents was disturbed by the noise and went outside to see what was happening.  Water falling from the sky was such a shock that the man fainted.  They had to throw two buckets of dust in his face to revive him.

Church leaders have got together to do their part to conserve water.  Until further notice, Baptist churches will baptise  by sprinkling, Methodists will baptise with wet-wipes,  Anglicans will issue rain checks, and Catholics will pray for wine to turn back into water.

Cows are only producing evaporated milk.

Enjoying nature

Infectious disease goes on a hike pic.twitter.com/O8bSTOThkx

— Dr. Glaucomflecken (@DGlaucomflecken) October 10, 2022

A sticky situation

There’s pain . . .

. . . and there’s farmers’ pain.

I’m sorry but this is gold “we got a farmer who didn’t finish chores to come to the hospital” pic.twitter.com/6a4XYhc2tF

— Kyle Stull (@Agronomy_Guy) August 17, 2022

It’s funny but it’s not funny when people neglect their physical and mental health.

Farmstrong has resources to help people live well to farm well.

Rural round-up

Gloves off in climate fight over He Waka Eke Noa – Jamie Mckay:

For the past couple of weeks, the gloves have really come off on my radio show over the Climate Change Commission (CCC) and its controversial chair Dr Rod Carr.

First up, fighting out of the Blue Corner, was local body politician and raconteur Jim Hopkins. This is what he had to say:

“If I was Doctor Carr, or indeed anyone in the Government, [such as] James Shaw, I might take a trip to a place called the Netherlands, and have a look at how they manage to deal with things like water, sea level rise and the like.

“And maybe instead of spending, say, $350 million to amalgamate Radio New Zealand, otherwise known as the Green Party at Prayer, and TV One, otherwise known as Jacinda’s little helpers – at least as far as the news department is concerned – maybe they could spend just a few million building bigger stop banks and taking gravel out of riverbeds! . .

All lines of defence are crucial – Mark Patterson:

If there’s one thing that keeps farmers awake at night more than climate, inflation or pending Government regulations, it’s the spectra of foot-and-mouth disease reaching these shores, writes Federated Farmers’ Otago president Mark Patterson.

So I’m guessing I’m not the only farmer watching with a degree of anxiety as it works its way down South East Asia into Indonesia.

Those of us old enough remember vividly the horrifying footage of culled stock being piled high and burnt on pyres from the United Kingdom in 2001. No-one would wish that trauma on their worst enemy.

That’s not to mention the catastrophic economic impact it would have on not only individual farmers, but the economy in general. The Government estimates 100,000 lost jobs and a $16billion economic cost. This disease would ruin us financially as a nation. . . 

Sentiment sours further down on the farm – production expectations slip to a net negative level for the first time in survey – Point of Order:

Warning  signals are  being  hoisted   in  New Zealand’s  rural regions,  the   mainstay  of  the  country’s  export  economy.

In January farmer confidence was at the lowest level recorded in biannual surveys that Federated Farmers has been running since 2009.  Last month’s survey found it had dropped further.

The  government,  seemingly oblivious to the  rural mood, meanwhile appears  to  be  pushing   ahead   with  a climate  change  policy   that – in effect – would tax  farmers  for   the  methane  emissions  of  their  animals.

Climate  Change  Minister  James  Shaw, under  threat  within  his  own party after elements  of  the Greens deposed him from his  co-leadership, is   under  the  whip  to  make  his  climate  change  policy  more  stringent. . . 

Finally I have all my "ducks" in a row! pic.twitter.com/wma16KPEuK

— Clare Shortt (@ShorttClare) July 30, 2022

New Zealand Young Farmers announce new chair and two new board members :

Inglewood Young Farmer Jessie Waite has been announced as the new Chair of New Zealand Young Farmers.

Waite, 30, was elected to the position at the organisation’s latest Board meeting, replacing Kent Weir who ended his 12-month term as Chair.

“I’m really looking forward to the next 12 months working with the Board, NZYF National Office and members who are our key stakeholders. It’s going to be exciting , but also quite challenging which I think is a good balance,” she said.

South Waikato Young Farmer Chloe Belfield and Mackenzie Young Farmer Nicola Blowey have also officially taken their seats as Board members, after being elected at the NZYF AGM in July. . .

 

Farmers begging for real change :

“The results of Federated Farmers latest farmer confidence survey shows that farmers have had enough and election day can’t come soon enough so we can have real change,” says ACT’s Primary Industries spokesperson and Ruawai Dairy Farmer Mark Cameron.

“The survey reported the lowest confidence amongst farmers since its inception in 2009. The Labour Government has been a non-stop shop of on-farm compliance, they’ve introduced an excess of shoddy rules and regulations that has only made it harder for farmers to produce the food that grows our economy and feeds our families.

“Freshwater reforms, winter grazing rules, Zero Carbon Act, limiting migrant workers, other ideological climate policies, Significant Natural Areas, taxes on utes… The list goes on. Farmers have taken a hammering from this government.

“This is reflected by the top concerns in the survey being climate change policy and the ETS, regulation and compliance costs, input costs, debt and interest rates, and biosecurity amidst concerns about foot-and-mouth disease. . . 

For you city folks that don't know how a calf is born, here is a rare pic of a cow's nest. pic.twitter.com/NiHuXzzOSo

— Hayes McDole (@hayes_mcdole) July 21, 2022

Lake Alta, high in the Remarkables, Central Otago – Blog the Globe:

The Remarkables are a magnificent mountain range looming over Queenstown, in New Zealand’s South Island. High up in the mountains, is a glacial lake, the aptly named Lake Alta. It is accessible via the mountain road to the ski fields. The Remarkables are not only imposing, but they are one of only two mountain ranges in the world running north to south. As a result an early surveyor Alexander Garvie named them in 1857.

I’d never previously heard of the lake, but when a friend invited me to hike with her, I was keen.

From the base of the Remarkables Ski Area, we walked for about 40 minutes, following markers placed in the extreme alpine terrain. The alpine flora was beautiful. Succulent plant species seemed to thrive despite the inhospitable environment including rock, providing little in the way of nutrients and extreme winds. The walk was gradual and easy, stepping from rock to rock. If you are unsure about walking on uneven surfaces a walking pole can give you added security, and may be particularly helpful on the return journey. . . .

No room for dessert?

Welcome to the stomach pic.twitter.com/YgAbvi95tj

— Adrian Bliss (@adrianbliss) July 3, 2022

There’s almost always room for dessert.

If you can make meat form plants . . .

If you can make meat form plants why not make plants from meat?

Superb.

pic.twitter.com/r73skQZS8V

— Joe Stanley 🇺🇦 (@JoeWStanley) May 18, 2022

Where fuel prices are heading

Where are fuel prices heading?? #fuelprices #gasprices @Lewisridge_Farm @rmcintyre007 @PaulBMcGill @grant_farquhar pic.twitter.com/BUqARfoJ1G

— YOLOFarmerNZ (@yolofarmernz) March 10, 2022

Advice for tin foil hatters

Dr Michelle Dickinson has some advice on how to make a tin foil hat:

I've seen some tin foil hats being made recently and it struck me that their designs aren't very effective. I thought I'd help by explaining some of the key scientific principles needed to make the perfect shield for your brain from (the perfectly safe) electromagnetic radiation pic.twitter.com/a7FTa2TEQ2

— Dr Michelle Dickinson (@medickinson) March 1, 2022

Should you want to buy military grade tinfoil, there’s some for sale on TradeMe.

. . . This is an almost complete 50m roll of military grade tin foil. Partially used because I made a hat last time I was interviewed on the radio. Probably about 47 metres left.

The foil is normally part of military field kits, and is EMF certified to protect against quantum discharge devices, LRAD, and EMF pulse weapons.

The manufacturing process uses a special quantum molecular alignment technique that ensures that the foil won’t fail in normal field use.

This protection is not something you’ll get with foil purchased at your local supermarket. . . .

If you want a giggle check out the Q&A:

• . . . Hi, is this available in different colours? I feel that purple camo would really protect my aura while standing grounded in my sovereignty while in my warrior pose.

If you are looking for aura protection you’ll need to gently rub down the tinfoil with distilled water that has had aura crystals sitting in it for 24 hours. . .

• I heard that gladwrap around the face protects you from the shedding by vaccinated people. Does tinfoil do this too?

PSA: You should never put gladwrap around your face, that is just dangerous! However, if you want to protect yourself from the shedding of vaccinated people the best advice is to go home, and stay home. Now. Tinfoil only works for EMF, everyone knows that!

 

• I find my chi energy is extremely zapped by being around vaccinated people, so every time I front up to the cops I my chi gets zapped. Can this foil help with that?

The foil is only for EMF. For Chi depletion you should spend some time inside an orgone energy accumulator, or setup a pyramid (make sure you get the alignment right) and sit under it. Do this before and after engaging with the cops. Warning: Do not sit under the pyramid for more that 10 minutes at a time, as prolonged exposure to pyramid energy can trigger sexual urges. You want to hold the line, not chat-up the cops.

 

• Are you able to confirm what military specification the foil was manufactured to? Is it possible that it is just a catering pack of Aluminium foil and contains no Tin?

This product ‘came off the back of a truck’, and does not have any certs with it. I was promised that it was genuine, and I had no reason to doubt the original seller. I knew he was for real because he showed me an internet page about the foil, and I know I can totally trust anything that is published on the internet.

 

• If I ask a question, will they find me? Asking for a friend

Yes. They know who you are, where you live, and that you had mince for dinner last night. Nachos, to be precise. You need this foil.

 

• I’ve heard there is knock off military grade foil doing the rounds, out of China and Korea. How do I know this foil is genuine military grade and not a cheap, ineffective knock off? Also, buy now? My supermarket is cleaned out .

I did have some doubts at first. But the first hat I made from it was very effective. Also, there has been a strange car parked over the road since just after I listed it. I think they may be on to me. They probably don’t want this falling into protestors hands since it is so effective.

 

• Will it work for animals too ? – I have a car that keeps crapping inside and I think it is the EMF signals so was going to wrap the cat – back half of course so it can breath

The most common cause of a cat’s unexplained pooping inside is stress. This can happen if their owner get more interested in rabbits, and the holes they live down, and does not give the cat enough attention. Foil won’t help. Suggest you try giving your cat a hug each day for a week.

 

• Everyone knows military grade foil comes on rolls a minimum of 200m in length, so to prove the quality of the foil, can you post a picture of it’s thickness using a calibrated micrometer?

I can see you are just trying to put people off this auction, so you can dive in at the last minute and buy it cheap. Am I right? Nice try, but you won’t fool most of the people on here.

 

• Sorry typo meant cat but guess I could wrap my car 🚗 too ?

You only needs to cover the windows. However, you must not attempt to drive the car in this state as there is a high probability that you will crash into something. And that may be more serious that EMF irradiation. Stay safe!

 

• Could you guarantee the foil would work on a Lada or a Great Wall those manufacturers are crafty 

I checked on the internet, and Ladas are fitted with anti-EMF countermeasures, so foil will not work on them. I did not know this when I wrote the above response. It is important to keep answers factual on auctions; I don’t want to get banned

 

• Can I use it to cover a black blood roast lamb? I don’t want it to dry out or shed onto the veges.

Yes, you could use the foil for a roast. But I would not recommend roasting black blood lamb. The blood will contain a high concentration of spike proteins. Best to stick with export grade lamb rack from the supermarket. . .

Olive and Mabel Keeping Up Appearances

Team work?

Was this team work or just opportunism?

“I love it when a plan comes together.”- John (Hannibal) Smith 🤦‍♂️😂🐐🐴 pic.twitter.com/u1rEw6jRVd

— Fred Schultz (@FredSchultz35) February 9, 2022

Yes Minister – How to Run a Hospital

Yes Prime Minister – Unforeseen Problems

Clarke and Dawe

The empty hospital

How to run a hospital