Saturday’s smiles

June 10, 2017

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution logged by the mechanic.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in “altitude-hold” mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re there for!

P: Transponder inoperative.
S: Transponder always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: The T/C ball seemed stuck in the middle during my last turn.
S: Congratulations! You’ve just made your first coordinated turn.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Radio switches stick
S: Peanut butter no longer served to flight crew

P: Screaming sound in cabin at start-up
S: Company accountant deplaned

P: Funny smell in cockpit
S: Pilot told to change cologne

P: Aircraft 2,400 lbs over max weight
S: Aircraft put on diet of 92 octane

P: #3 engine knocks at idle
S: #3 engine let in for a few beers

P: #3 engine runs like it’s sick
S: #3 engine diagnosed with hangover

P: Brakes howl on application
S: Don’t step on ’em so hard!

P: Radio sounds like a squealing pig
S: Removed pig from radio. BBQ behind hangar tomorrow

P: First class cabin floor has a squeak
S: Co-pilot told not to play with toddler toys in cabin anymore

P: Electrical governor is broke
S: Paid off governor’s debt to Jimmy “The Fish” Galvano

P: Air conditioning motor makes a loud squeal like my mother-in-law.
S: recommend divorce


Thursday’s quiz

May 18, 2017

You’re invited to pose the questions.

Anyone who stumps everyone will win a batch of hazelnut chocolate chip biscuits.


May 6 in history

May 6, 2017

1527  Spanish and German troops sacked Rome;  147 Swiss Guards, including their commander, died fighting the forces of Charles V in order to allow Pope Clement VII to escape into Castel Sant’Angelo.

1536  King Henry VIII ordered English language Bibles be placed in every church.

1542  Francis Xavier reached Old Goa, the capital of Portuguese India at the time.

1682  Louis XIV moved his court to Versailles.

1757  Battle of Prague – A Prussian army fought an Austrian army in Prague during the Seven Years’ War.

1758 Maximilien Robespierre, French Revolutionary was born (d. 1794).

1816  The American Bible Society was founded.

1835 James Gordon Bennett, Sr. published the first issue of the New York Herald.

1840  The Penny Black postage stamp beccame valid for use in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.

1856 Sigmund Freud, Austrian psychiatrist, was born (d. 1939).

1856 Robert Peary, American explorer, was born  (d. 1920).

1857  The British East India Company disbanded the 34th Regiment of Bengal Native Infantry whose sepoy Mangal Pandey had earlier revolted against the British and is considered to be the First Martyr in the War of India’s Independence.

1860  Giuseppe Garibaldi’s Mille expedition sets sail from Genoa to the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies.

1861  Motilal Nehru, Indian freedom fighter, was born (d. 1931).

1861  American Civil War: Richmond, Virginia was declared the new capital of the Confederate States of America.

1863 American Civil War: The Battle of Chancellorsville ended with the defeat of the Army of the Potomac by Confederate troops.

1869 – Colonial troops invaded the Urewera.

Colonial troops invade the Urewera

1877 Chief Crazy Horse of the Oglala Sioux surrendered to United States troops in Nebraska.

1880 – Winifred Brunton, English-South African painter and illustrator, was born (d. 1959).

1882 Thomas Henry Burke and Lord Frederick Cavendish were stabbed and killed during the Phoenix Park Murders in Dublin.

1882  The United States Congress passed the Chinese Exclusion Act.

1889  The Eiffel Tower was officially opened to the public at the Universal Exposition.

1895 Rudolph Valentino, Italian actor, was born (d. 1926).

1904 Moshe Feldenkrais, Ukrainian-born founder of the Feldenkrais method, was born (d. 1984).

1910  George V beccame  King of the United Kingdom upon the death of his father, Edward VII.

1915  Orson Welles, American film director and actor, was born (d. 1985).

1920 Kamisese Mara, 1st Prime Minister of Fiji and President of Fiji, was born (d. 2004).

1935  New Deal: Executive Order 7034 created the Works Progress Administration.

1935  The first flight of the Curtiss P-36 Hawk.

1937  Hindenburg disaster:  Thirty six people were killed when the German zeppelin Hindenburg caught fire and was destroyed within a minute while attempting to dock at Lakehurst, New Jersey.

1940  John Steinbeck was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his novel The Grapes of Wrath.

1941   Bob Hope performed his first USO show.

1941  The first flight of the Republic P-47 Thunderbolt.

1942  World War II:  On Corregidor, the last American forces in the Philippines surrendered to the Japanese.

1945  World War II: Axis Sally  delivered her last propaganda broadcast to Allied troops.

1945 Bob Seger, American singer/songwriter, was born.

1945 – World War II: The Prague Offensive, the last major battle of the Eastern Front, began.

1947 –Alan Dale, New Zealand actor, was born.

A head shot of a man wearing a suit; he is turned away from the camera.

1953 Tony Blair, former British Prime Minister, was born.

1954 Roger Bannister became the first person to run the mile in under four minutes.

1960 More than 20 million viewers watch the first televised royal wedding when Princess Margaret married Anthony Armstrong-Jones at Westminster Abbey.

1962  St. Martín de Porres was canonized by Pope John XXIII.

1966 Myra Hindley and Ian Brady were sentenced to life imprisonment for the Moors Murders in England.

1976  An earthquake struck Friuli, causing 989 deaths and the destruction of entire villages.

1981  A jury of architects and sculptors unanimously selected Maya Ying Lin’s design for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial from 1,421 other entries.

1983 – Ingrid Jonach, Australian author, was born.

1983  The Hitler diaries were revealed as a hoax after examination by experts.

1984  – 103 Korean Martyrs were canonized by Pope John Paul II in Seoul.

1989 Cedar Point opened Magnum XL-200, the first roller coaster to break the 200 ft height barrier.

1994  Queen Elizabeth II and French President François Mitterrand officiated at the opening of the Channel Tunnel.

1994 – Former Arkansas state worker Paula Jones filed suit against President Bill Clinton, alleging that he had sexually harassed her in 1991.

1997 The Bank of England was given independence from political control, the most significant change in the bank’s 300-year history..

1999  First elections to the devolved Scottish Parliament and Welsh Assembly were held.

2001  During a trip to Syria, Pope John Paul II became the first pope to enter a mosque.

2002  Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn was assassinated by an animal rights activist.

2008 Chaiten Volcano erupted in Chile, forcing the evacuation of more than 4,500 people.

2013 – Three women missing for more than a decade were found alive inCleveland, Ohio, while a 52-year-old man, Ariel Castro, was taken into custody.

2014 – Six people were injured in a knife attack at a Chinese train station in Guangzhou.

Sourced from NZ History Online & Wikipedia


Word of the day

April 24, 2017

Mirkning – late twilight, dusk.


John Clarke/Fred Dagg.

April 10, 2017

“He laughed at the way we talked, but it was a laughter without jeers.

Clarke had the true comic’s gift of being able to show what was funny about New Zealanders but in a way which, somehow, celebrated rather than sneered at it.

There was always a sense of heart, a generosity of spirit, as he laughed – or rather, as he showed us what was funny.” so true and so sad that I can’ think of anyone in NZ who does that now.

The Hinterland

The late, great John Clarke/Fred Dagg on the meaning of life. An excerpt therefrom.

“Of course, in the 20th century, we have produced a fair array of theories about what life’s actually about and probably the existentialists take the buttered confection for getting closest to thinking they had it all worked out. They used to hang about in the Paris area, which is in what we used to call Gaul, and talk about how terrible life was and how they didn’t know if they’d really get to the weekend. They reckoned life was a pretty dreadful business and was filled with a thing called ennui.

“Now, ennui is a terrible thing, and seems to have roughly the same effect as terminal boredom. Ennui actually is a French word meaning Henry. And the story goes that once you get a touch of the Henry’s, it’s all downhill and the only way…

View original post 235 more words


Sunday soapbox

April 9, 2017

Sunday’s soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation. You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, amuse, bemuse or simply muse, but not abuse.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. – Mark Twain.


Quote of the day

February 22, 2017

Oh all the time when Victoria Wood and I did our series. There were people asking ‘Can women be funny?’ People still ask that. It’s like asking: ‘Can women breathe in and out?’  – Julie Walters who celebrates her 67th birthday today.

She also said:

I keep seeing myself in my daughter, and I see my mother in me and in her. Bloody hell.

And:

In order to be creative you have to be allowed to fail.


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