Dear Father Christmas
Mum and Dad keep telling me it’s wrong to be greedy so I thought I should ask you for something that would help all the other people.
Please could you give them all the health care, education, pensions, benefits, multi-laned highways, public broadcasters, ballet companies, rare species survival schemes, recycling depots and anything else they want.
It would be really good if you could forget about budget restraints and spend as much as is needed on giving them everything they ask for, just as long as I don’t have to pay for it.
Yours in confusion,
Take a good sized set of sheep yards.
Sift several thousand lambs through latest meat schedule.
Mix with a well seasoned stock agent, a hopeful farmer and a couple of dogs.
Add noise and dust to taste, spice with a bit of gossip of jokes and follow with a cool beer.
Twelve days before Christmas my farmer said to me, “If the wind keeps up the lucerne should be fit by mid-afternoon so we’ll start making hay and there could be a few extra men for tea. But if there’s time when we finish I’ll get the Christmas tree.”
Eleven days before Christmas my farmer said to me, “I’m going through to a sale in Central. I should be back in time for the school concert and if I’m early I’ll get the Christmas tree.”
Ten days before Christmas my farmer said to me, “When you go into town this morning could you see if the spare part for the tractor has turned up yet, pick up some drench, drop a few cheques into the bank then pay these bills, there’s only two or three. While you’re doing that I’ll get the Christmas tree”
Nine days before Christmas my farmer said to me, “We’ll be shearing today, one of the men will be in the shed so he’ll want lunch early, the other should be in at the usual time and I probably won’t be in ‘til after one. But if we get the irrigator fixed this afternoon there might be time to get the Christmas tree.”