New Zealand farmers are incensed by tough new rules on animal housing which threaten exports of meat, milk, wool and leather.
The new requirements, developed by House Animals Happily (HAH), in consultation with animal welfare experts are part of a world wide movement to lift the standard of livestock accommodation.
Trade and farming officials have spent months in high level negotiations to relax the standards but spokesperson for Hah, Ray Sunshine, said the new rules were not negotiable.
“It’s the culinary and fashion extension of Feng Shui because unhappy animals produce unhappy products. We can’t be putting unhappy milk in our coffee, or wearing unhappy wool,” he said.
“We’re not asking anything of farmers we don’t do for ourselves. Individual stables, built of organic timber and lined with goosedown quilts is not a big ask.”
Enfield, Windsor Ngapara Farmers” Federation spokesman Jo Bollocks disagreed.
“Where on earth are we going to get enough goose down for 1,200 quilts?” she asked.
“It’s just another feel good, P.C. gone-made nonsense designed by people who wouldn’t know a happy cow if it sat in their porridge and blew the sugar at them.
“We didn’t complain when they wanted the cows in gumboots, we didn’t complain when they wanted them to have sun umbrellas, we trained our staff to sing when they insisted on musical milking but this is the last straw.”
EWNFF deputy chair, Snow Fleece, said sheep farmers were bemused and bewildered by the new rules.
“We’re concerned that sheep will over heat,” he said.
“Those woolly jumpers we have to put on them already cause problems in summer and if we put them in centrally heated stalls they’ll be suffering heat stroke before you can say April Fools’ Day.”