Who proposes?

Today is Leap Day when tradition allowed women to propose to men.

According to an old Irish legend, or possibly history, St Brigid struck a deal with St Patrick to allow women to propose to men – and not just the other way around – every four years.

This is believed to have been introduced to balance the traditional roles of men and women in a similar way to how leap day balances the calendar.

12 Pairs of Gloves

In some places, leap day has been known as “Bachelors’ Day” for the same reason. A man was expected to pay a penalty, such as a gown or money, if he refused a marriage proposal from a woman on Leap Day.

In many European countries, especially in the upper classes of society, tradition dictates that any man who refuses a woman’s proposal on February 29 has to buy her 12 pairs of gloves. The intention is that the woman can wear the gloves to hide the embarrassment of not having an engagement ring. During the middle ages there were laws governing this tradition. . . 

Did many women took up the once in four years opportunity?

Did many women propose on other days?

Who is more likely to propose now – a man or a woman?

On walking down the aisle

Who is going to walk Meghan Markle down the aisle?

Speculators have been speculating on this since she announced her father is unable to attend the wedding.

The speculation has gone from the traditional (if her father can’t be there another man might) through the less traditional but no longer unusual (her mother could escort her) to the trashy (I was listening to the radio yesterday and some of the suggestions are best not repeated).

A father escorting his daughter down the aisle and giving her away is the traditional start to a marriage service but there are plenty of alternatives.

As a marriage celebrant it is my role to create a service that suits the couple and meets the requirements of the Marriage Act.

I give the bride and groom several options and even though it’s the 21st century, many choose to stick with tradition.

If the bride’s father is dead or estranged some choose to come in with their mother, brother or grand parent.

I’d been away from home for several years before I married and wasn’t comfortable with the idea of being given away.

Instead I followed both my parents down the aisle with my best lady at my side and rather than the traditional giving away, the minister asked all our parents if they gave their blessing to our marriage.

A couple whose marriage service I officiated at last year were married on a beach. The groom arrived first with his mother, his father followed with the bride’s mother, the attendants came next and then the bride walked in with her father.

Alternatives include:

* The groom walking in with both parents and/or other family and/or friends and the bride walking in with her parents and/or other family and/or friends.

* The groom enters with his family and the bride with hers side by side (this needs a wide aisle so works best in a garden).

* The bride and groom enter together with or without parents/family.

Weddings can be much more informal than they used to be and sometimes the couple choose to mingle with guests as they arrive and then come forward together to start the service.

However they choose to start the service and whatever else they say and do during it, I remind the couples that what matters is that they are relaxed and happy and what matters more than the wedding is the marriage.