. . . how you can keep a New Year’s resolution to make no resolutions when in the making of it you break it?
If you could invite any five (ish) people, living or dead* for dinner, who would you choose?
(* we’re assuming they’re miraculously alive and well enough to enjoy dining).
If candidates have to be ranked and there are more nominees than positions available, does it make a difference if you just vote for the number needed or if you rank them all?
I was a scrutineer at a meeting recently where this happened.
The meeting opted for asking those voting to rank all candidates but the other scrutineer said it would have been easier if they’d voted only for the number needed.
It would have made counting easier but would we have got the same result?
My gut feeling is that voting for only the number available could get a different result from ranking everybody but I’ve not had the patience to work it out.
If the Mayans were right all those hundreds of years ago, the world will end next Friday.
Or, given that they probably didn’t know that New Zealand existed nor about time differences around the planet, it might be next Saturday here which will be Friday where they came from.
Whichever it is, the Mayans probably weren’t the first to predict the end of the world, nor have they been the last.
So far they’ve all been wrong. But if this was the last week for the world – what would you do with it?
. . . if a dog’s breakfast is different from a dogs’ breakfast?
Apropos of this, if we don’t need apostrophes when we speak, do we really need them when we write?
. . . if sport (specifically tennis and golf) has Opens does it also have Closeds?
. . . why electricians put sockets in such inaccessible places.
They might not be attractive but I’d rather look at them when I don’t need them than have to scrabble round tyring to plug something in when I do.
. . . if any child ever says, when I grow up, I’m going to be a parking warden?
. . . why other people’s mess is messier than your own.
. . . if there is a smaller distance than that between too hot and too cold on the temperature control of a shower?
. . . why no-one throws out a pen the first time it doesn’t work?
. . . why people on phones talk louder when it’s they who have trouble hearing and not the person on the other end at whom they’re shouting?
. . . why, when I’ve had two weeks to write a column I’ve left it until two days before deadline even though I’ve known that both those days would be very, very busy?
And why, in spite of knowing that I’m writing this blog post instead of the column?
* patterned loo paper?
* sticky labels on individual pieces of fruit?
* putting a bunch of bananas in a plastic bag?
* mist-free bathroom mirrors – or do some people really want to look at themselves as they get out of the shower?
* locks on the doors of shops which are open 24/7?
* asking how are you? when you don’t know the person you’re questioning and/or have no interest in the answer?
* so much weather during TV news bulletins?
* reporters doing live broadcasts from the scene where something happened hours before?
. . . if anyone actually reads and understands the licence agreement on software upgrades before clicking yes I have read and understood the licence agreement.
. . . if the loo roll without a cardboard core will make it any more likely that people will replace the roll when it runs out of paper?
. . . the late night which seemed such a good idea on Saturday doesn’t seem quite such a good idea on Sunday morning?
Shouldn’t the UK be the UQ at the moment?
Have you noticed that when signs tell you something’s for your convenience, it almost always isn’t?
. . . if it’s not whether you win or lose but how you play the game which matters, why do football games continue until one team scores?