Farrar to be stripped of knighthood

The Labour Party has announced it will strip David Farrar of his knighthoood because of the value he has stripped from their brand.

“If it’s good enough for Britain to de-knight Fred Goodwin for the damage inflicted on the Bank of Scotland, it’s good enough for us to de-knight Farrar for the damage he does to Labour,” party spokesman Trival Mullard said.

“His use of facts and figures and reasonable approach to issues is continually showing Labour bloggers up as emotional and irrational and forcing us into committing SMOGS..

“He’s always finding positive things to say about the government, MPs and policies. But even worse, he  sometimes even says nice things about us which lowers our reputation in left-wing circles.

“You only have to look at the election results to see just how much damage he’s inflicted on us and come the revolution we’ll be stripping him of his title.”

When told that Farrar hadn’t been knighted Mullard said: “Ha, just you wait, no-one who does this much good for the government and this much harm to us will go unrecognised forever. By the time we get back into government he’ll be Sir David and one of the first actions we take will be to make him mister again.”

Inspired by shock as Labour discover Farrar is not the PM at Imperator Fish