Life’s not fair but


It’s not fair!

That is a complainant often heard from children.

It is also heard from adults and often with justification.

And while, they don’t speak, animals can show what they think about unfairness.

Life isn’t fair. Bad things happen to good people.

We often have no control over that but as concentration camp survivor Viktor Frankyl said:

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

He also said:

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

That is so much easier to say than do, but I found using strengths to navigate unfair situations by Carly Rospert helpful:

BRAVERY: Bravery is a key strength to call upon when approaching situations of unfairness. Whether you or someone else is being treated unfairly, calling it out has the potential to create conflict. Bravery is a strength that compels you to speak up for what is right, even in the face of opposition. If someone else calls attention to a situation of unfairness, it is important to recognize the bravery they used to stand up and speak out.

PERSPECTIVE: Rarely are situations of unfairness completely black and white, so it is important to use your perspective strength to seek to understand all the points of view in the matter before coming to a judgement. Perspective is a strength that allows you to recognize and weigh multiple sides before making decisions and is crucial for navigating difficult situations.

PRUDENCE: Because unfairness is often such a serious issue, it is important to call on your strength of prudence to carefully examine the situation before taking action. Prudence is a strength that compels you to be very careful about your choices and not do or say things that you could later regret.

LOVE: Unfairness often carries with it feelings of hurt and anger. It is important to approach a situation of unfairness with the strength of love to show compassion and care to those involved. Love is a strength that can help you maintain relationships through difficulty by showing care and kindness.

FORGIVENESS: You might need to pull on your forgiveness strength after a situation of unfairness has been brought to light and remedied. It can be hard to let go of the hurt that unfairness can cause. Forgiveness is a strength that does not mean you are condoning unfair actions or even forgetting the situation occurred, but rather a strength that allows you to move forward and find peace within yourself. . .

This has been an annus horribilis for several people I know. Their stories aren’t mine to tell so I’ll say nothing more about that.

I’m posting this in the knowledge that others will also be facing difficulties and in the hope it might help.

Sunday soapbox


Sunday’s soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation. You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, amuse, bemuse or simply muse, but not abuse.

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Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In you response lies our growth and our freedom.  – Viktor E. Frankl.

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