Competitive man herding


A toast to the Irish


You’ve got to give it to the Irish, theirs is the saints day which is celebrated most widely around the world, although most of the celebrations have little if anything to do with the St Patrick.

In light of that some Irish wisdom and toasts:

  • May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light, may good luck pursue you each morning and night.
  • May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out.
  • A trout in the pot is better than a salmon in the sea.
  • As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.
  • A friend’s eye is a good mirror.
  • May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
  • He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.
    May the road rise up to meet you,
    May the wind be always at your back,
    May the sun shine warm upon your face,
    and the rain fall soft upon your fields,
    and until we meet again,
    May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
  • May you have: A world of wishes at your command. God and his angels close to hand. Friends and family their love to impart, and Irish blessings deep in your heart!
  • May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes and rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.
  • May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night,and the road downhill all the way to your door.
  • May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light, and may good luck pursue you each morning and night.
  • May your blessings outnumber the Shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.
  • May the Lord keep you in His hand and never close His fist too tight.
  • May your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, the angels protect you, and heaven accept you.
  • May the sound of happy music, and the lilt of Irish laughter, fill your heart with gladness, that stays forever after.
  • May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty. And our ale never turn musty.

May you enjoy the four greatest blessings:

    Honest work to occupy you.
    A hearty appetite to sustain you.
    A good woman to love you.
    And a wink from the God above.

May you live a long life, full of gladness and health. With a pocket full of gold, as the least of your wealth.

May the dreams you hold dearest, be those which come true. The kindness you spread, keep returning to you.

May the friendships you make, be those which endure; and all of your grey clouds, be small ones for sure.

And trusting in Him, to Whom we all pray; May a song fill your heart, every step of the way.

Top o’ the morning


It’s St Patrick’s Day which provides an excuse for those with any link to the land of leprechauns to get all Irish.

As far as I know, I don’t have any Irish ancestry, but in the spiritof Celtic solidarity I offer this:


Paddy was driving his lorry along a country road when he saw a bridge with a sign saying 10 foot max. headroom.He slowed down wondering if he could drive under it or not , ‘A shure I’ll give it a go, he thought only to find that his lorry got stuck underneath it.

Paddy sat back in his seat, poured out a cup of tea and opened his newspaper.

A policeman arrived a short time later and knocked on the cab door which Paddy then opened, ‘what do you think you are doing? asked the policeman?

‘Sure I’m having me tea break, replied Paddy?

‘And what do you work at? asked the policeman.

‘Agh shure I deliver bridges,! smiled Paddy!

What is it about the Irish?


Lots of countries have saints, but most saints’ days pass unnoticed by the rest of the world.

What is it about the Irish which means St Patrick’s Day makes such an impact, even on those who haven’t kissed the Blarney Stone, drunk Guinness, read James Joyce and/or can’t pronounce begorra correctly?



Sláinte, top o’ the morning, and happy St Patricks Day.

Good information and a joke


The weekly AgLetter from Wairarapa-based farm consultants Baker & Associates is a must-read for us.

This week’s edition includes a run down on interest rates and the 90 day probation clause for new employees.

The newsletter contents are copyright so I’m not going to divulge what it says (you can subscribe and read a sample here).

But each week’s offering includes at least one joke so in the spirit of St Patrick’s Day which was celebrated last week I offer this:

Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the corner of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn.


When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered three more.

The barman says, “You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it … your pint would taste better if you bought one at a time.”


Patrick replies, “Well now, I have two brodders, one is in America and de odder in Australia and here I am in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised dat we’d drink dis way to remember de days we all drank togedder.”


The barman admits that this is a nice custom and says no more. Patrick becomes a regular customer and always drinks the same way … ordering three pints and drinking a sip out of each in turn, until they are finished. One day, he comes in and orders just two pints.


All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he goes back to the bar for the second round, the barman says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.”


Patrick looks confused for a moment, then the penny drops and he starts to laugh, “Oh no,” he says, “Bejesus, everyone is fine! Tis me … I’ve quit drinking!”

Top o’ the morning


It’s St Patrick’s Day.

He’s the patron saint of Ireland which is a good excuse to tell this true story:

My farmer was waiting for a receptionist at a hotel in Ireland when the bloke ahead of him asked if she could put his computer in the hotel safe.

The receptionist replied that the computer was too big, but she could put it beside the safe.

P.S. The Inquiring Mind celebrates St Paddy’s day with music.

UPDATE: He’s also got an Irish toast  and a cartoon.

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