Jamie Mckay is running a competition with a prize of a $1500 broadband package from Farmside on the Farming Show.
Last week’s winner was South Otago farmer, poet and singer Ross Agnew.
As the Farming Show’s North Otago correspondent, I’m not eligible to compete, but penned an ode to the internet for my contribution to Jamie’s show this week.
In doing so I’ve taken a bit of poetic licence and ignored Paul L’s facts which got in the way of the good story about pigeon post beating email.
Alone in his office the grumpy farmer sits,
Trying to get his mind round megabytes and bits.
The computer is chugging out the things he needs to know
But the internet is hopeless when it goes so jolly slow.
Click goes the key board, click, click, click,
They say it’s the way to make the business process slick.
That’s okay in town where broadband makes it fast,
Out here in the country we’re dialling up the past.
The farmer prods the key board and peers closer at the screen
Only half a message though half an hour it’s been.
Ten emails are coming, the message brightly flashes
But attachments are so slow the system often crashes.
Click goes the key board click, click, click,
If the computer was a tractor it would get a hefty kick
The farmer knows the internet should keep him up to date
But with dial up the messages always come in late.
Invoices could be sent and bills all swiftly paid
If only transmission wasn’t frustratingly delayed.
Killing sheets and milk reports should easily be downloaded
But minutes turn to hours as patience is eroded.
Click goes the key board, click, click, click.
The computer age is on us but rural internet is sick.
The tyranny of distance means we need the service most
But email is still slower than old fashioned pigeon post.