Sunday soapbox

09/05/2021

Sunday’s  soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation. You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, amuse, bemuse or simply muse but not to abuse.

I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing. .. thinking back on it all it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome yet feeling she had no right to stop me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but most of all for never once having said, ‘I told you so’ – Erma Bombeck


Whole World

10/05/2015

Searching for mother at Story People gave me so many wonderful words, I couldn’t choose just one so here’s a bonus:

whole world StoryPeople print by Brian Andreas

 

Moms come in all shapes & sizes, but they’re pretty easy to recognize because they’re the ones who teach you stuff all the time about how to be in the world & sometimes that sounds a lot like: chew with your mouth closed, sit still. stand up straight, be polite, Look them in the eye. & sometimes it seems like that sort of thing doesn’t add up to a whole lot. Until the day you feel the soft ache of love in your heart that makes you take care with a friend who hurts or when you look in a stranger’s tired eyes & you stop & smile. Or when you listen to the ABC song for the thousandth time & you laugh & say ‘again’ & suddenly you understand that is the real thing moms do & it adds up to the whole world.

Whole World  ©2014 Brian Andreas – posted with permission.

You can sign up for a daily dose of whimsy like this at Story People.


$ value of stay at home mother

10/05/2015

Hat tip: Utopia  from Salary.Com


Sunday Soapbox

10/05/2015

Sunday’s  soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation. You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, amuse, bemuse or simply muse, but not abuse.
Image result for quotes mother

A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary – Dorothy C. Fisher.


Three things my Mum taught me

11/05/2014

Photo: Thinking of my mum today.


Whole World

11/05/2014

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Moms come in all shapes & sizes, but they’re pretty easy to recognize because they’re the ones who teach you stuff all the time about how to be in the world & sometimes that sounds a lot like: chew with your mouth closed, sit still. stand up straight, be polite, Look them in the eye. & sometimes it seems like that sort of thing doesn’t add up to a whole lot. Until the day you feel the soft ache of love in your heart that makes you take care with a friend who hurts or when you look in a stranger’s tired eyes & you stop & smile. Or when you listen to the ABC song for the thousandth time & you laugh & say ‘again’ & suddenly you understand that is the real thing moms do & it adds up to the whole world.

©2014 Brian Andreas – published with permission.

If you’d like a daily dose of whimsy  by email from the folk at Story People, you’ll see where to sign up by clicking on the link above.


Imagine

12/05/2013

Another Mothers’ Day thought from  Story People by Brian Andreas:

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No regrets

12/05/2013

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From Story People by Brian Andreas.


Sunday soapbox

12/05/2013

Sunday’s soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation.

You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, to muse or amuse.

You might like to make this a Mothers Day special, though it doesn’t have to be exclusively that.
Well, weren't we surprised when Brian dropped this in our in-box late, late tonight. Looks like the ball's in our court now for getting it out to all of you in time for Mother's Day.</p><br /> <p>(Whoa. That's soooon...)

From Story People by Brian Andreas.


For Mothers’ Day

13/05/2012

I was a week early with Mothers’ Day Quotes, so here they are again with a bonus Story People video.

* As is the mother, so is her daughter. Ezekiel 16:4

*  If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

* A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.Dorothy Canfield Fisher

* At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you’ve left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent. Golda  Meir

* The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you  will always find forgiveness. Honore de Balzac

* By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do  not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class. Anne Morrow Lindbergh

* Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. Oprah Winfrey

* Making a decision to have a child–it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. Elizabeth Stone

* Women do not have to sacrifice personhood if they are mothers. They do not have to sacrifice motherhood in order to be persons. Liberation was meant to expand women’s opportunities, not to limit them. The self-esteem that has been found in new pursuits can also be found in        mothering.  Elaine Heffner

* The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A   mother is something absolutely new. Rajneesh

* The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother. Anonymous

* When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her  child. Sophia Loren

* All mothers are working mothers. Author unkonwn.

* The mother loves her child most divinely, not when she surrounds him/her with comfort and anticipates his/her wants, but when she resolutely holds him to the highest standards and is content with nothing less than his/her best. Washington Irving

* On Mother’s Day I have written a poem for you.  In the interest of poetic economy and truth, I have succeeded in concentrating my deepest feelings and beliefs into two perfectly crafted lines:  You’re my mother, I would have no other!  Forest Houtenschil


For Mothers’ Day

06/05/2012

* As is the mother, so is her daughter. Ezekiel 16:4

*  If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

* A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.Dorothy Canfield Fisher

* At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you’ve left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent. Golda  Meir

* The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you  will always find forgiveness. Honore de Balzac

* By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do  not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class. Anne Morrow Lindbergh

* Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. Oprah Winfrey

* Making a decision to have a child–it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. Elizabeth Stone

* Women do not have to sacrifice personhood if they are mothers. They do not have to sacrifice motherhood in order to be persons. Liberation was meant to expand women’s opportunities, not to limit them. The self-esteem that has been found in new pursuits can also be found in        mothering.  Elaine Heffner

* The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A   mother is something absolutely new. Rajneesh

* The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother. Anonymous

* When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her  child. Sophia Loren

* All mothers are working mothers. Author unkonwn.

* The mother loves her child most divinely, not when she surrounds him/her with comfort and anticipates his/her wants, but when she resolutely holds him to the highest standards and is content with nothing less than his/her best. Washington Irving

* On Mother’s Day I have written a poem for you.  In the interest of poetic economy and truth, I have succeeded in concentrating my deepest feelings and beliefs into two perfectly crafted lines:  You’re my mother, I would have no other!  Forest Houtenschil

UPDATE: – Whoops, I”m a week early, Mothers’ Day is next week.


Thanks Mum

08/05/2011

Thanks Mum,

No-one talked about role models when I was growing up but I appreciate now that I had such a good one in you.

Thanks for that and so much more.

Thanks for being gentle, kind, patient, selfless and wise.

Thanks for teaching me right from wrong not just by what you said but even more through what you did and how you did it.

Thanks for setting me boundaries and, although I wouldn’t have appreciated it at the time, thanks too for making me face the consequences when I crossed them.

Thanks for showing restraint and thanks for showing there’s a time and place for righteous anger.

Thanks for forgiving and forgetting.

Thanks for listening  and thanks for not judging.

Thanks for showing me it is important to know what you believe in and  to work for what you want.

Thanks too for the optimism and encouragement, for believing in me and helping me believe in myself.

Thanks for passing on your love of words, spoken and written.

Thanks for being able to appreciate little things, see the funny side of almost any situation and  for the wit and laughter.

Thanks for being generous – not just materially but also, and even more, with your energy and time.

Thanks for your strength and courage, for showing me that life can be for better not just in spite of but also because of the worse.

Thanks for the compassion.

Thanks for being there.

Thanks for the unconditional love.

Thanks most of all  for being the mother and grandmother those of us who knew and loved you can aspire to emulate.


Musings on motherhood

09/05/2010

Our daughter was almost two weeks old before the full implications of motherhood hit me.

She had arrived six weeks early after an emergency caesarean and was in the neonatal intensive care unit.

I was living at the hospital so I could feed her but had been discharged as a patient and was free to come and go.

The nurses encouraged us live-in mothers to get fresh air and exercise between feeds. I was wandering through the university campus and like the small-town pedestrian I am, was about to jay walk across a busy Dunedin street when it suddently struck me – there was someone who needed me and was depending on me as no-one else ever had.

We have to get a licence to marry, we need no permission to have children but the traditional vows are at least as applicable to parenthood as they are to marriage.

Parenting is for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death us do part. If we’re lucky it will be our deaths, but for some it’s the death of our children, against the natural order of things, which part us.

However, seeds of happiness can grow from tragedy. I count the knowledge that life is both precious and fatal; that ability isn’t a right it’s a privilege; and that the view from the peaks is even more glorious when you’ve been in the valleys, as gifts from my dead sons.

There is no one-size fits all recipe for motherhood, we all do it differently. Some of us are lucky enough to have had good role models in our own parents, although even the best make mistakes. We do somethings a certain way and other things differently because of what our parents did and what we learned from them.

A friend once told me that once you’re a mother you’ll never be happier than your unhappiest child.

There is an element of truth in that. But part of growing up as a parent is allowing your children to be independent, to make their own mistakes and face the consequences. Part of good parenting is learning to separate ourselves from our children and be happy both because of them and in spite of them.

If you’re blessed, as I am, motherhood may be the most challenging thing you do but it will also be the most rewarding.


When A Child Is Born

09/05/2010

Day nine of New Zealand Music month, chosen for Mothers’ Day.

I couldn’t find a clip with a New Zealand mother singing When A CHild Is Born so have gone for Billy T James:


Happy Mothers’ Day

09/05/2010

Whatever the age of your children, may you have joy, wonder, enough sleep and be appreciated for all you do for them.


Best Mothers’ Day present reminder normal isn’t normal any more.

10/05/2009

A discussion among students reached the conclusion that they were very fortunate to have been brought up in families in which the parents loved each other and their children; that the parents showed that love by setting them boundaries, facing them with consequences when they breached them and showed by example the importance of trust, honesty, work ethics and other values.

When my daughter, who was one among the group told me this, I regarded it as the best mothers’ present she could have given me.

But while I was moved I was also sad because when I was that age I’d have thought all those things were normal.

That the young adults were talking about it shows that they didn’t think it is.

Lindsay Mitchell’s post is that your daddy? is another reminder that loving, two-parent families aren’t necessarily normal anymore.

This is not a criticism of single parents.  There are many good reasons that marriages – and other relationships – fail; and some single parents do a better job by themselves than some couples do together.

It’s difficult enough being a good parent when you have a loving and supportive partner, it’s harder still doing it alone and whether there are one or two parents, helping children become happy and successful adults is more difficult now when the moral and ethical foundation my generation regarded as normal isn’t normal anymore.


Aiming for Italy, Landing in Holland

10/05/2009

The images for Mothers Day are usually of happy families with happy, healthy children.

That’s not the case for all mothers and one who knows what it feles like when your baby isn’t the happy, healthy one you expected is  Emily Perl Kingsley, who was a writer for Sesame Street.

Her son, Jason, had Down Syndrome which prompted her to write this:

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

 

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

 

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.


When A Child Is Born

10/05/2009

A bonus song for NZ Music Month as an acknowledgement of  Mothers’ Day.

It’s When A Child is Born by Billy T James.


The Peacock of Motherhood

08/05/2009

It’s Mothers’ Day on Sunday which prompted this choice for Friday’s poem.

The Peacock of Motherhood by Anna Jackson comes from Swings + Roundabouts, poems on parenthodd edited by Emma Neale.

The Peacock of Motherhood

This is the gift my son gave me,

strutting through my life, tail dragging,

perching on everything I do and as soon

as my back is turned, jumping down

with a thud and a cry, following me.

 

The pea-hen of girlhood

makes n sound now, sleeps

undisturbed. I can hardly remember

so brown a bird; if I try to think

up flashes the tail

 

of motherhood to distract me.

I remember she was as brown as thought.

But the peacock has found other cocks

to flash his tail at; the peacocks

of motherhood are strutting

 

at the school gates, the gifts

our sons gave us. The birds strut

and preen, flash their tails,

while the mothers smile

till the bell goes.

   – Anna Jackson –


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