July 18, 2009
A blonde police officer stopped a blonde driver and asked for her licence.
The driver searched through her handbag but couldn’t find it.
“What does it look like?” she asked.
“It’s rectangular and has your photo on it,” the cop replied.
The driver scrabbled through her handbag again, pulled out her mirror, peered into it, handed it to the cop saying, “Yes, that’s me, here it is.”
The cop looked at it for a moment then said, “Oh sorry I didn’t realise you’re a police officer too.”
(Choice inspired by this at Smething Should Go Here).
February 28, 2009
A ventriloquist is touring the country doing shows in clubs and pubs.
He’s going through the usual run of off-colour and dumb blonde jokes when a well dressed, beautifully spoken blonde woman stands up and shots, “I’ve heard more than enough of your dumb-blonde jokes, you jerk!
“What makes you think you can stereotype women this way? What connection can a woman’s hair colour possibly have with her fundamental worth as a human being?
“It’s morons like you who prevent women like me from being respected at work and in our communities and from reaching our full potential, because you and your Neanderthal brethren continue to perpetuate negative stereotypes of not only blondes but women in general for the sake of cheap laughs.
“You are a pathetic misogynistic relic of the past, and what you do is not only contrary to discrimination laws in every civilised country, it’s deeply offensive to people of modern sensibilities and basic respect for their fellow human beings.
“You should hang your head in shame you pusillanimous little maggot.”
The ventriloquist hangs his head in shame and begins to stutter out an apology when the blonde interrupts him:
“You stay out of this, mister, I’m talking to the cheeky little sod on your knee.”
Hat Tip: the weekly Ag-letter from Baker & Associates.
December 13, 2008
So late it’s almost Sunday’s smiles –
Microsoft Word for Blondes 1.0: