When I rule the world

02/02/2018

When I rule the world* media and advertisers will not have auto-play videos on websites.

They are an irritant without which life will be much more pleasant.

*Accepting that universal health and happiness have already been achieved.

 


When I rule the world

11/01/2018

When I rule the world*, people who wish to put pens in their shirt pockets will have to undergo training to ensure they always  remove the pen before the shirt goes in the wash.

Only when the pen-removal becomes automatic will they be permitted to wear shirts with pockets.

Anyone who slips up and leaves a pen in their pocket will be required to undergo re-training.

*Accepting that we’ve achieved global health and happiness.


When I rule the world

10/01/2018

When I rule the world*, all drivers who aren’t going to pass a slow vehicle will keep enough space between the vehicle in front and their own to allow others to pass them.

Furthermore, all drivers travelling at less than the legal and safe speed will keep to the left when they reach passing lanes and won’t speed up so no-one can pass them safely and legally.

*Accepting that we’ve already attained global health and happiness.


When I rule the world . . .

29/12/2017

When I rule the world * the shampoo and conditioner will last exactly the same time.

Try as I might to use equal amounts, the conditioner always runs out before the shampoo.

* Accepting that we’ve already achieved global health and happiness.


When I rule the world . . .

27/12/2017

When I rule the world* instruction manuals for native English speakers will be written in English by people whose first language is English and who write them on the understanding those trying to follow them could be technologically and mechanically incompetent.

*Accepting that global health and happiness have already been achieved.


When I rule the world . . .

26/12/2017

When I rule the world* batteries will be included.

There may well be reasons for not including them with goods which require their power but I am not convinced they’d outweigh the inconvenience of finding you need batteries to operate whatever it is you’ve just bought/been given and don’t have them.

*Accepting that global health and happiness have already been achieved.


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