Megan Devine on being nice:
How many times in your life have you heard “hey! Don’t say that!! BE NICE!”?? If you’re like many people, you’ve heard that phrase so many times, you say it to yourself every time you’re annoyed or upset by something.
It’s an automatic reflex. “Be nice” is what we tell ourselves when the truth feels too harsh to say out loud.
“Be nice” is what other people say when they’re afraid you’ll upset the status quo, or make things weird when you call someone out on their actions. And “be nice” gets aimed at grieving people when we complain that, no matter how “well intentioned,” certain things just feel like crap.
Things like, “Everything happens for a reason,” or “at least you had them as long as you did” feel dismissive and rude because they ARE dismissive and rude.
But you can’t just say that to someone. Can you? Find out in this video…. on being “nice.” (and what to be instead).
Megan Devine’s Refuge in Grief is one of the best resources I’ve found.
You can find it here.