Word of the day

20/03/2020

Collogue – talk confidentially, conspiratorially or privately; confer or consult; intrigue; conspire; to be on friendly or intimate terms with someone


Thatcher thinks

20/03/2020


Rural round-up

20/03/2020

Government needs to help farmers – Heather du Plessis-Allan:

Here’s a challenge to this government: help farmers.

If this government is serious about doing everything to get us through this economic crisis in the best shape possible, it has to push pause on all the extra rules it is planning for farming.  Farmers are the ones who are going to get us through this

Look at Fonterra today. It’s holding its forecast farm-gate milk price of between $7 and $7.60. That is good economic news, and we’re getting precious little of that at the moment.

The world can and will stop buying thing – cruises, steel, logs, computers, any number of things – but it can’t stop eating. . .

Dairy industry profits are a bright spot in an economy heading for recession – Point of Order:

NZ’s  dairy  industry, under constant  fire from critics for its methane emissions,  pollution of  waterways  and  intensive farming practices in recent years, almost  overnight  is shaping up   to be one of the  country’s  saviours  as the economy dives into  recession.

While  other   key export sectors — tourism, forestry, education — are jack-knifed by the  coronavirus  pandemic,  the dairy industry’s earnings  more than ever before are proving it to be  what the  critics  have scorned:  “ the backbone of the economy”. . . 

Coronavirus: all shearing competitions cancelled :

The New Zealand Shearing Sports season is over with the cancellation of nine competitions which were scheduled for the next three weeks.

The cancellations include six A and P shows, with confirmation on Wednesday that the Oxford and Mackenzie shows in the South Island weren’t going ahead, following the earlier cancellations of the Methven, Flaxbourne, Warkworth and Auckland Royal Easter shows, the Waimarino and Waitomo shearing competitions, and the New Zealand Shears national shearing and woolhandling championships. . .

Bay company only Kiwi in Top 50 – Richard Rennie:

A Bay of Plenty robotics company is now ranked in the top 50 leading global agri-tech companies. 

Robotics Plus, the only Kiwi company on the list, has made the cut in an annual ranking of companies judged by global agri-tech innovation company Thrive, based in Silicon Valley. 

The Thrive platform is responsible for investing and accelerating start-up agri-tech companies globally. . .

Electronic forms are more efficient – Annette Scott:

Livestock movements will become more accurate and efficient with the introduction of electronic animal status declaration (eASD) forms.

The forms have been tested and farmers moving stock are now being encouraged to go electronic to record their animal movements.

Use of the forms is voluntarily now. . .

New Zealand grown stock feed available for drought-hit farmers:

Latest forecasts suggest New Zealand’s arable farmers have to date been less affected than other primary industry sectors by COVID-19 and the drought.

“It’s clear there are still locally-grown quality stock feed solutions available to farmers in regions hit by drought,” Federated Farmers Arable Chairperson Karen Williams says.

MPI’s just-released Situation Outlook Primary Industries (SOPI) report forecasts that arable production and export for the year ended June 2020 should see revenue increase by 10 percent to $260 million. . . 

 

 


The Little Wee Farmer

20/03/2020

Henry Railton has rewritten the story of the  LIttle Red Hen

“Everything going on in the world currently got me thinking, so I wrote it down. Have you ever read the Little Red Hen? This is called the Little Wee Farmer. Enjoy. And share x “

Once upon a time there was a little wee farmer who lived on a farm.

He saw through the internet and social media, the greedy politicians, misleading media and misinformed public.

Everyday the little wee farmer worked hard to grow his crops and tend his animals to feed his family, the nation and the world.

One day the little wee farmer asked these people “Who will help me plant my crops and look after my livestock?”

“Not I” said the greedy politician “I have a new policy initiative in mind”

“Not I” said the misleading media “We have a story on the news tonight about “dirty dairying”

“Not I” said the misinformed public “We hear you don’t care about anything except money.”

And so the little wee farmer sighed and put his head down and went back to work.

The little wee farmer then asked these people who would like to buy and help export my produce?

“Not I” said the said the greedy politician, “Until I can tax it first”

“Not I” said the misleading media “You probably didn’t grow it ethically and sustainably”

“Not I” said the misinformed public “Aren’t you ruining our waterways and environment?”

And so the little wee farmer sighed and put his head down and went back to work.

But then a strange virus named after a foreign beer was running rampant all over the world and looked likely to ruin the New Zealand and global economy.

The greedy politician said, “Sorry little wee farmer for the past two years of trying to implicate excessive policies that would ruin you – we understand now that you’re the only ones that can save us as 70% of our countries exports come from the primary industry and without them our economy will be in tatters”

The misleading media said, “Sorry for making you look like the bad guys, how are you going to help us?”

The misinformed public said, “Oh, you’ve been trying to feed us this whole time?”

And so the little wee farmer sighed and put his head down and went back to work.


Fwittery & dumbfery

20/03/2020

Example one:

She walked into the medical centre, sat in the waiting room for an hour before the doctor could see her.

In the consulting room she listed her symptoms.

The doctor asked if she’d seen the big red signs outside the surgery saying anyone with those symptoms should stay outside and either phone or push the emergency button.

She said she didn’t think it applied to her.

Example two:

The hairdresser noticed a woman fiddling with something at the door and realised she was putting on a mask.

When she got to the desk the hairdresser asked her if she was protecting herself or others.

The woman replied she really wasn’t feeling well but was sure it wasn’t coronavirus.

The hairdresser said she should reschedule because regardless of what it was, it would be impossible to cut her hair when she had the elastic band of the mask round her head.

These are examples of fwittery which are closely related to dumbfery:


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