Will They Buy It? A one-act play set in an office in the Beehive.
Official: We’ve got a bit of a problem Minister. The Opposition aren’t buying your numbers for jobs created by the Provincial Growth Fund grants.
Shane: That’s alright. We can just say they don’t understand big numbers.
Official: That’s the problem Minister, the numbers aren’t big, except in the Ministry.
Shane: Job creation is job creation, let’s not quibble about who’s got them.
Official: But our own figures show that 118 civil servants have been employed to administer the PGF, with most based in Wellington. Only 54 actual jobs have been created so far – a run rate of less than 0.5 FTE for each official.
Shane: Jobs are jobs, you’re quibbling.
Official: It’s not me Minister, it’s Paul Goldsmith, and it’s not who’s got them, it’s where. They’re in Wellington and Wellington isn’t the provinces.”
Shane: Wellington’s a province, what’s the problem?
Official: There’s Wellington the province, Minister, and Wellington the city, and the civil servant jobs are in the city.
Shane: The city’s in the province though, we can tell them that.
Official: With respect Minister, do you really think they’ll buy that, especially when unemployment’s gone up?
Shane: Hmm, well let’s distract them. We’ve still got money in the provincial growth pot, it can’t be hard to find something to throw it at.
Official: But will they buy it Minister?