An optimist: someone who thinks if two wrongs don’t make a right, it’s worth trying three.
Good judgement comes from experience, Experience comes from poor judgement.
One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.
Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. – Ambrose Bierce.
Quantum mechanics: the dreams that stuff is made of.
It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature – Stephen Wright.
Start planning today, to be spontaneous tomorrow.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch.
Reality is for people who lack imagination.
People who urge you to be realistic generally want you to accept their definition of reality.
People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
I’m not suffering from insanity, I’m enjoying every minute of it.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? – Dorothy Parker.
Today’s mighty oak is just yesterdays nut.
I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike? – Jean Cocteau.
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost?
The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The only problem with having nothing to do is you can`t stop and rest. – Franklin Pierce Jones.
A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I’m not paranoid, but everyone thinks I am…
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?