A woman was driving in the country when she noticed a sign at a gateway: Talking Dog For Sale.
She rang the bell and the owner told her the dog was in the backyard. The woman walked round the house and saw Labrador sitting there.
“You talk?” she asks. “Yep,” the Lab replies. “So, what’s your story?”
The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.
“But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
“I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had several litters of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The woman is amazed. She goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
“Ten dollars,” the guy says.
“Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
“Because he’s a compulsive liar. He never did any of that stuff.”