Saturday’s smiles

Why isn’t suntanning a commonwealth sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.

I’m a natural at weight lifting. I picked it up quickly.

I was going to practice my sprinting, then I realised it wouldn’t help me in the long run.

A gymnast walks into a bar.  He gets a two-point deduction and ruins his chances of a medal.

It’s the Commonwealth Fishing event today. I hear it’s all online. Anyone got a good stream?

I saw a book called “Ten Steps To Improve Your Long Jump”. I thought, “that’s cheating”.

Members of the relay team. You’ve got to hand it to them.

I never made it as an athlete. Fell at he first hurdle.

A friend told me he was a 100m champion. I asked what he did it in. He said, “T-shirt & trainers”.

2 Responses to Saturday’s smiles

  1. Bulaman says:

    For the golfers!

    GOLF GLOSSARY

    A “Rock Hudson” – a putt that looked straight, but wasn’t.

    A “Saddam Hussein” – from one bunker into another.

    A “Yasser Arafat” – butt ugly and in the sand.

    A “ John Kennedy, Jr.” – didn’t quite make it over the water.

    A “Rodney King” – over-clubbed”.

    An “O. J.” – got away with one.

    A “Princess Grace” – should have used a driver.

    A “Princess Di” – shouldn’t have used a driver.

    A “Condom” – safe, but didn’t feel very good.

    A “Brazilian” – shaved the hole.

    A “Rush Limbaugh” – a little to the right.

    A “Nancy Pelosi” – way to the left and out of bounds.

    A “James Joyce” – a putt that’s impossible to read.

    A “Ted Kennedy” – goes in the water and jumps out.

    A “Pee Wee Herman” – too much wrist.

    A “Sonny Bono” – straight into the trees.

    A “Paris Hilton” – a very expensive hole.

    A “Tiger Woods” – wrong hole.

  2. Andrei says:

    The biggest joke of all might be if the world goes to war over two dead guinea pigs and a cat – now sadly cremated.

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