Saturday’s smiles

Q: How many call centre people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring
Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring
ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring
Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring
ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring Ring-ring ring-ring…..

Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None…. There never *was* any light bulb, don’t you remember?

Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It turns itself in.

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with
the old one for the next 10,000 years.

Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I’ll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it
a surprising twist at the end.

Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself
symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in
a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of
nothingness.

Q: How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change?

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against
spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the
drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or
completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or
tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring
bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review
church lighting policy.
Amish: What’s a light bulb?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: