Crambazzled – prematurely aged by drink and a dissolute life.
A burglar is sneaking through this house one night, when out of the darkness comes a voice, “I can see you, and Jesus can, too”.
The burglar freezes in his tracks and is too frightened to move. He waits a few moments and nothing has happened so he moves forward. Again from the darkness comes the voice, “I can see you, and Jesus can, too”. The burglar is petrified and too frightened to move a muscle.
After thirty minutes, he decides to do something. He backs very slowly and tentatively to the wall and feels around for a light switch. He switches on the light and there in front of him, sit a cockatoo in a cage, who says, “I can see you, and Jesus can, too”.
Greatly relieved, the burglar sighs, “It’s just a cocktaoo”.
The cockatoo looks at the burglar and says, “I might be just a cockatoo but Jesus is a big Rottweiler”.
A National Government will help young families into their first farms by allowing young farmers to buy state owned farms after they’ve worked the land for five to ten years.
“The Government owns a large number of commercial farms through Landcorp, but there is no clear public good coming from Crown ownership and little financial return to taxpayers,” Primary Industries spokesperson Nathan Guy says.
“We think that some of these farms are better off in the hands of hard working young farming families who are committed to modern farming and environmental best practice. . .
A re-elected National Government will strengthen biosecurity rules, toughen penalties for stock rustling and help exporters add value, National Party Primary Industries Spokesperson Nathan Guy says.
“These policies will help grow and protect the primary sector sustainably, and support our goal of doubling the value of our exports to $64 billion by 2025,” Mr Guy says.
“We are proud to support the primary sector which is the powerhouse of New Zealand’s economy, helping us earn a living and pay for social services. . .
Seven years of dry weather and relentless wind erosion in the early 2000s had devastated the Flaxbourne-Starborough landscape of South Marlborough, one of the country’s earliest farmed areas.
Doug Avery’s Grassmere farm Bonaveree was one of those affected. “Over-grazing during the long dry was harming the financial, environmental and emotional sustainability of the farm,” recalls Barbara Stuart, regional co-ordinator of the NZ Landcare Trust (NZLT). “People like Doug were stressed, heartbroken, even a bit ashamed about what was happening.” . .
AFFCO’s first chilled shipment unloaded in China – Allan Barber:
AFFCO chairman Sam Lewis visited China last weekend to greet the first container of AFFCO chilled meat to arrive for distribution to eager food service and retail customers throughout Henan Province in east-central China. The arrival was marked by an official reception at Zhengzhou attended by the NZ Trade Commissioner Liam Corkery, MPI representatives Dave Samuels and Steve Sutton, and a Kangyuan executive. According to Lewis the speed of customs clearance for the consignment was a record for meat shipments, taking no more than three hours for the whole process.
The distributor, Kangyuan Food Company, has cool storage and frozen storage facilities and imports more than 10,000 tonnes of meat annually from New Zealand, Australia and South America to supplement its own domestic processing capacity of 600,000 sheep and 100,000 cattle. Kangyuan is also the largest distributor of Halal product in China. . .
Time to walk the talk – Allan Barber:
There are large operators, small suppliers, traders and third party agents and, in times of tight livestock supply, the lines between them start to get a bit blurred and the classifications move around, depending on who is making the judgement.
From a competitor’s perspective one company’s large supplier is a trader who is always presumed to earn a massive premium over schedule, far higher than loyal suppliers who don’t have the same bargaining power. Of course it’s invariably other companies that are the guilty parties when it comes to using third party agents, generally the stock firms. As always the truth isn’t quite so simple. . .
Irish dairy farmers fortunate that consumers drinking ‘real milk’ – Caroline Allen:
While Irish liquid milk producers have been protesting about the possibility of a milk price war, there is still an appreciation of milk as a healthy natural product in this country, Mary Shelman, former director of Harvard Business School’s agri business programme, told AgriLand.
Shelman who is the “absentee owner” of a 475ac farm in Kentucky, which is a cash grain operation divided between corn and soya beans, was in Dublin last week to deliver a number of addresses. She was at UCD’s Michael Smurfit School and also delivering lectures for Bord Bia’s talent programmes, including the Origin Green Ambassador programme. . .
Labour backed down on introducing a capital gains tax without putting it to the electorate in 2020, but they’re still planning plenty of other taxes.
Saturday’s soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation. You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, amuse, bemuse or simply muse, but not abuse.
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humour and hurt – Erma Bombeck.
1386 King Henry V of England, was born (d. 1422).
1400 Owain Glyndŵr was declared Prince of Wales by his followers.
1701 James Francis Edward Stuart, sometimes called the “Old Pretender”, became the Jacobite claimant to the thrones of England and Scotland.
1776 American Revolutionary War: the Battle of Harlem Heights was fought.
1795 The first occupation by United Kingdom of Cape Colony, South Africa with the Battle of Hout Bay.
1812 Russians set fire to Moscow shortly after midnight.
1858 Andrew Bonar Law, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (d. 1923)
1875 James C. Penney, American department store founder, was born (d. 1971).
1893 Settlers race in Oklahoma for prime land in the Cherokee Strip.
1898 H.A. Rey, American children’s author, creator of “Curious George”, was born (d. 1977).
1905 New Zealand’s first fully representative rugby team to tour the Northern Hemisphere, the ‘Originals, started the All Black tradition including the haka and the ‘All Black’ name.
1908 General Motors was founded.
1919 The American Legion was incorporated.
1920 The Wall Street bombing: a bomb in a horse wagon explodes in front of the J. P. Morgan building in New York City – 38 killed and 400 injured.
1923 Lee Kuan Yew, Minister Mentor of Singapore, was born.
1924 – Lauren Bacall, American actress, was born (d. 2014).
1925 – B. B. King, American musician, was born.
1925 – Charles Haughey, Prime Minister of Ireland, was born (d. 2006).
1926 – Eric Gross, Austrian-Australian composer was born (d. 2011).
1928 – Lady Gwen Thompson, English author and educator, was born (d. 1986).
1930 Anne Francis, American actress, was born (d. 2011).
1931 Hanging of Omar Mukhtar.
1942 Bernie Calvert, British musician (The Hollies), was born.
1942 – Dennis Conner, American sailor, was born.
1945 World War II: Surrender of the Japanese forces in Hong Kong, presided over by British Admiral Cecil Harcourt.
1947 Typhoon Kathleen hit Saitama, Tokyo and Tone Rivr area, at least 1,930 killed.
1948 Kenney Jones, English musician (The Small Faces; Faces; The Who), was born.
1955 Juan Perón was deposed in Argentina.
1956 David Copperfield, American magician, was born.
1963 Malaysia was formed from Malaya, Singapore, British North Borneo (Sabah) and Sarawak.
1970 King Hussein of Jordan declared military rule following the hijacking of four civilian airliners by the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP) which resulted in the formation of the Black SeptemberPalestinianparamilitary unit.
1975 Papua New Guinea gains its independence from Australia.
1975 The first prototype of the MiG-31 interceptor made its maiden flight.
1976 Shavarsh Karapetyan saved 20 people from a trolleybus that had fallen into Erevan reservoir.
1978 An earthquake measuring 7.5-7.9 on the Richter scale hit the city of Tabas, Iran killing about 25,000 people.
1982 Sabra and Shatila massacre in Lebanon.
1987 The Montreal Protocol was signed to protect the ozone layer from depletion.
1990 A rail link between China and Kazakhstan was completed at Dostyk, adding an important connection to the Eurasian Land Bridge.
1991 The trial of deposed Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega began in the United States.
1992 Black Wednesday: the Pound Sterling was forced out of the European Exchange Rate Mechanism by currency speculators and forced to devalue against the Deutschmark.
2005 Camorra boss Paolo Di Lauro was arrested in Naples.
2007 One-Two-GO Airlines Flight 269 carrying 128 crew and passengers crashed in Thailand killing 89 people.
2007 – Mercenaries working for Blackwater Worldwide allegedly shoot and kill 17 Iraqi civilians in Nisour Square, Baghdad; all criminal charges against them are later dismissed, sparking outrage in the Arab world.
2013 – A gunman killed twelve people at the Navy Yard in Washington, D.C.
2014 – The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant launched its Kobane offensive against Syrian–Kurdish forces.
Sourced from NZ History Online & Wikipedia