Saturday’s smiles

A selection of  some of the 50 one-liners from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival judged to be the best by The Scotsman:

“Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.” Tim Vine (2011)

“When I was younger I felt like a man trapped inside a woman’s body. Then I was born.” Yianni (2015)

“I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.” Matt Kirshen (2011)

“I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.” Tom Ward (2015)

“One in four frogs is a leap frog.” Chris Turner (2016)

“I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.” Will Marsh (2012)

“I bought myself some glasses. My observational comedy improved.” Sara Pascoe (2014)

“I was thinking of running a marathon, but I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone.” Jordan Brookes (2016)

“You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.” Sara Pascoe (2014)

“I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn’t let me.” Ria Lina (2014)

“If you arrive fashionably late in Crocs, you’re just late.” Joel Dommett (2014)

“I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!” Stewart Francis (2012)

“I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting.” Paddy Lennox (2009)

One Response to Saturday’s smiles

  1. Gravedodger says:

    Even on a beautiful day in paradise with grass growing, birds chirping and sunshine aplenty that post still lifted the spirit.
    No profanity, no denigration, just simple humour.

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