Saturday’s smiles

  • Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  • A day without sunshine is like, night.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • 62.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  • You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
  • Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
  • How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
  • Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Take care, half the people around you are below average.
  • Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  • All stressed out and no one to choke
  • My mind is like a steel trap – rusty and illegal in 37 states.
  • Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
  • Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
  • Eagles may soar but weasels don’t get suck into jet engines.
  • Borrow money form pessimists, they don’t expect it back.
  • Experience is what you learn just after you needed it.
  • The problem with the gene pool is there’s no lifeguard.
  • S/he who laughs last thinks slowest.
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