Word of the day

April 1, 2017

Marlock –  prank or trick;  a practical joke; a frolic; a playful gesture; a flirtatious glance; a shrubby or small-tree form of Eucalyptus found in Western Australia.


Saturday’s smiles

April 1, 2017
  • Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  • A day without sunshine is like, night.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • 62.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  • You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
  • Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
  • How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
  • Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Take care, half the people around you are below average.
  • Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  • All stressed out and no one to choke
  • My mind is like a steel trap – rusty and illegal in 37 states.
  • Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
  • Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
  • Eagles may soar but weasels don’t get suck into jet engines.
  • Borrow money form pessimists, they don’t expect it back.
  • Experience is what you learn just after you needed it.
  • The problem with the gene pool is there’s no lifeguard.
  • S/he who laughs last thinks slowest.

Clocks forward permanently

April 1, 2017

The scheduled return to standard New Zealand time tomorrow morning has been cancelled and clocks will stay one-hour ahead permanently.

A spokesman for the Department of Infernal Affairs, Ms Sunny Disposition said that putting clocks back signalled the start of winter to many people and since summer weather had been so disappointing, few if any were ready for it.

“Most people agree daylight saving is good and if some is good then ipso facto more must be better,” she said.

“We can’t change the weather, but we can keep the clocks forward and allow people more daylight. The sun comes out in the day and after the sorry excuse for summer over much of the country that’s what we need to cheer us all up – more day and less night.

“We’ll all get more vitamin D and save power with less need for electric lights.”

A reporter who pointed out that whether or not clocks stayed forward an hour, there would be less daylight as the sun moved north, was told that wasn’t in the Department’s brief.

“Clocks and time are our preserve, if you have a question about the sun you’d be better talking to Met Service or NIWA,” Miss Disposition said.

“I understand someone from one or other of them will be available to talk around mid day.”

 

 


Saturday soapbox

April 1, 2017

Saturday’s soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation. You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, amuse, bemuse or simply muse, but not abuse.

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow. - Oscar Wilde

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallowOscar Wilde


April 1 in history

April 1, 2017

527 Byzantine Emperor Justin I named his nephew Justinian I as co-ruler and successor to the throne.

1293 Robert Winchelsey left England for Rome, to be consecrated as Archbishop of Canterbury.

1318 Berwick-upon-Tweed was captured by the Scottish from the English.

1340 Niels Ebbesen killed Gerhard III of Holstein in his bedroom, ending the 1332-1340 interregnum in Denmark.

1572  In the Eighty Years’ War, the Watergeuzen captured Brielle from the Spaniards, gaining the first foothold on land for what would become the Dutch Republic.

1789 The United States House of Representatives held its first quorum and elected Frederick Muhlenberg of Pennsylvania as its first House Speaker.

1815 Otto von Bismarck, 1st Chancellor of Germany, was born (d. 1898).

1826  Samuel Morey patented the internal combustion engine.

1854 Hard Times begins serialisation in Charles Dickens‘ magazine,Household Words.

1857 Herman Melville published The Confidence-Man.

1865 American Civil War: Battle of Five Forks – In Siege of Petersburg, Confederate General Robert E. Lee began his final offensive.

1867 Singapore became a British crown colony.

1873 The British steamer RMS Atlantic sank off Nova Scotia, killing 547.

1875 Edgar Wallace, English writer, was born (d. 1932).

1887 Mumbai Fire Brigade was established.

1891 The Wrigley Company was founded in Chicago.

1908 The Territorial Force (renamed Territorial Army in 1920) was formed as a volunteer reserve component of the British Army.

1912 The Greek athlete Konstantinos Tsiklitiras broke the world record in the standing long jump jumping 3.47 meters.

1918 The Royal Air Force was created by the merger of the Royal Flying Corps and the Royal Naval Air Service.

1924 Adolf Hitler was sentenced to five years in jail for his participation in the “Beer Hall Putsch“.

1924 – The Royal Canadian Air Force was formed.

1932  Debbie Reynolds, American actress, was born.

1933 The recently elected Nazis under Julius Streicher organised a one-day boycott of all Jewish-owned businesses in Germany.

1937 Aden became a British crown colony.

1938 – Ali MacGraw, American actress, was born.

1939 Generalísimo Francisco Franco announced the end of the Spanish Civil War, when the last of the Republican forces surrendered.

1941  The Blockade Runner Badge for the German navy was instituted.

1944  Navigation errors lead to an accidental American bombing of the Swiss city of Schaffhausen.

1945 World War II: Operation Iceberg – United States troops land on Okinawa in the last campaign of the war.

1946 Aleutian Island earthquake: A 7.8 magnitude earthquake near the Aleutian Islands created a tsunami that struck the Hawaiian Islands killing 159.

1946 – Formation of the Malayan Union.

1948  Cold War: Berlin Airlift – Military forces, under direction of the Soviet-controlled government in East Germany, set-up a land blockade of West Berlin.

1948 Faroe Islands received  autonomy from Denmark.

1949  Chinese Civil War: The Communist Party of China held unsuccessful peace talks with the Kuomintang in Beijing, after three years of fighting.

1949 The Canadian government repealed Japanese Canadian internmentafter seven years.

1949 – The twenty-six counties of the Irish Free State became theRepublic of Ireland.

1954 President Dwight D. Eisenhower authorised the creation of the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado.

1955 The EOKA rebellion against The British Empire starts in Cyprus, with the goal of obtaining the desired unification (“enosis”) with Greece.

1957 BBC Spaghetti tree hoax broadcast on current affairs programmePanorama.

1961 Susan Boyle, Scottish singer, was born.

1965 TEAL became Air New Zealand.

TEAL becomes Air New Zealand

1969 The Hawker Siddeley Harrier entered service with the RAF.

1970   President Richard Nixon signed the Public Health Cigarette Smoking Act into law, requiring the Surgeon General’s warnings on tobacco products and banning cigarette advertisements on television and radio.

1973 Stephen Fleming, New Zealand cricketer, was born.

Stephen Fleming slip.jpg

1973  Project Tiger, a tiger conservation project, was launched in the Corbett National Park, India.

1974 – ACC began operating.

1976 Apple Computer was formed by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak.

1976 Jovian-Plutonian gravitational effect is first reported by the astronomer Patrick Moore.

1978 – Thermal insulation was required in NZ homes.
Thermal insulation required in NZ homes

1979  Iran became an Islamic Republic by a 98% vote, officially overthrowing the Shah.

1980  New York City’s Transit Worker Union 100 began a strike lasting 11 days.

1981 – The New Zealand Film Archive was launched.

 

1987 State Owned Enterprises came into existence.

State-Owned Enterprises are born

1989 Margaret Thatcher’s new local government tax, the Community Charge (commonly known as the ‘poll tax’), was introduced in Scotland.

1992 Start of the Bosnian war.

1997 Comet Hale-Bopp is seen passing over perihelion.

1999 Nunavut was established as a Canadian territory carved out of the eastern part of the Northwest Territories.

2001 An EP-3E United States Navy surveillance aircraft collided with a Chinese People’s Liberation Army Shenyang J-8 fighter jet. The crew made an emergency landing in Hainan, China and was detained.

2001 – Former President of Federal Republic of YugoslaviaSlobodan Milošević surrendered to police special forces to be tried on charges of war crimes.

2001 – Same-sex marriage became legal in the Netherlands, the first country to allow it.

2002 The Netherlands legalised euthanasia, becoming the first nation in the world to do so.

2004 Google introduced  Gmail – a launch met with scepticism on account of the date.

2006 The Serious Organised Crime Agency, dubbed the ‘British FBI’, was created in the United Kingdom.

2009 – Croatia and Albania joined NATO

2011  – After protests against the burning of the Quran turn violent, a mob attacks a United Nations compound in Mazar-i-Sharif, Afghanistan, resulting in the deaths of thirteen people, including eight foreign workers.

Sourced from NZ History Online & Wikipedia


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