Saturday’s smiles

* Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee.

* Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

* Law of the Kitchen – Any utensil dropped will be covered in mixture which will make the maximum mess.

* Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

* Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

* Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a puncture.

*  Law of Quesues – The queue you are in will be the slowest until you move to another which will then slow down while the one you were in speeds up.

* Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

* Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

* Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will

* Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

* Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

* Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

* Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

* Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

* Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

* Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

* Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

* Oliver’s Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

* Wilson’s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

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One Response to Saturday’s smiles

  1. Richard says:

    Law of Quesues.
    There has been a lot of work done based on queuing theory:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queueing_theory

    and put into practice in Europe and USA, e.g. supermarkets- when a another check-out counters is opened when a Que gets too long- it works. It is also used in the telecom industry to shorten the time customers have to wait to have their questions answered.

    Spark, in the last few days, have turned queuing theory, first recognised in 1909, on its head by publishing wait times in minutes before your inquiry is answered. Thus, discouraging any current or potential customers to call

    After 48hrs I am still waiting for my email service to be restored; monopolies still flourish.

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