Saturday’s smiles

English is a difficult language. It can be grasped through tough, thorough, thought, though.

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

I’ll never date an apostrophe again, they’re always too possessive.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

To

To who?

No, to whom.

Grammar is the difference between knowing your s**t and knowing you’re s**t.

A teacher asked me to name two pronouns. I said, “Who? Me?”

I was asked to judge a debate in the prison library. It was full of  prose and cons.

The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Every time someone types “to funny” I imagine them, fist in the air leading adventurers on a quest to find funny.

What do you say to comfort a grammarian? “There, their, they’re.”

 

One Response to Saturday’s smiles

  1. Name Withheld says:

    Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon.
    Einstein is bored, so he suggests, “Let’s play hide-and-seek. I’ll be it!”
    The others agree, so Einstein begins counting. “One… Two… Three…”
    Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide.
    But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square. He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, “Ready or not — here I come!”
    Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him. He says, “I found you, Newton!”

    Newton replies, “No, you found one Newton per square meter — You found Pascal!”

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