Saturday’s smiles

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?

EVER WONDER…

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word and the word big is smaller than the words little and small?

Why is it that accountants, doctors and lawyers call what they do ‘practice’?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?  Why don’t  they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe,  why do they call the airport the terminal?

One Response to Saturday’s smiles

  1. Bulaman says:

    A summary of some alternative interpretations of common medical terms:

    ARTERY – The study of fine painting

    BARIUM – What you do when the medical process fails

    CAESAREAN SECTION – A district of Rome

    CONGENITAL – Friendly

    DILATE – To live long

    A MINOR OPERATION – Digging coal

    MORBID – A higher offer

    NODE – Was aware of

    POST OPERATIVE – A letter carrier

    URINE – Opposite of “You’re out”

    CAT SCAN – Search for kitty

    CAUTERISE – Made eye contact with a girl

    ENEMA – Not a friend

    FIBULA – Small lie

    IMPOTENT – Distinguished

    LABOUR PAIN – Getting hurt at work

    PAP SMEAR – A fatherhood test

    RECTUM – Darn near killed ’em

    SEIZURE – A Roman emperor

    TERMINAL ILLNESS – Getting sick at the airport

    VARICOSE – Nearby

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