My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned when I couldn’t concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried being a tailor, but wasn’t suited for it – my work was just so-so.
Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
Then, tried being a chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.
Next, I attempted being a deli worker, but anyway I sliced it…. couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was a musician, but I had difficulty tuning in and eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but didn’t have any patience.
Next, was a job in a shoe factory. Tried hard but my sole wasn’t in it and I just didn’t fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.
Managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a gym but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian – but I realised there was no future in it.
My last job was working in Starbucks, but I got bored with the same old grind.
So I tried retirement and found I’m perfect for the job.