Paraprosdokian – a rhetorical term for an unexpected shift in meaning at the end of a sentence, stanza, or short passage; a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.
Dr Andrew West today resigned as Vice-Chancellor of Lincoln University.
“I am proud of what the University has achieved under my leadership. It has been a fabulous three years and Lincoln is on track to become one of the world’s truly great land-based universities”, said Dr West.
“However my commitment of time, energy and focus has been so great that it is now appropriate that I refocus on my family that live in the Waikato and on my very elderly parents that live in England”, Dr West added.
Farm Environment Award goes to Rotorua couple – Gerard Hutching:
ROTORUA couple John and Catherine Ford have won New Zealand’s pre-eminent farming prize, the Ballance Farm Environment Award for 2015.
It is the first time in the five years since the award was established that a North Island farming business has won.
The Fords were presented with the Gordon Stephenson trophy by Primary Industries Minister Nathan Guy at a Parliamentary function.
The judges said the sheep and beef property had the “wow” factor and had been chosen from out of 10 regional supreme winners. It stood out in terms of environmental sustainability and impressive production and performance figures, they said. . .
A sheep & beef farmer has been formally warned for breaching the Resource Management Act by exceeding a nitrogen discharge cap on properties in the Lake Taupō catchment over a two year period.
It is the first warning issued by Waikato Regional Council under the new Variation 5 consenting regime designed to protect the lake’s health from nitrogen, which can leach into waterways and cause nuisance algae.
The warning came after it was discovered more than a tonne of excess nitrogen could eventually leach into the lake as a result of the farmer’s operations over the two years. By themselves the breaches are not expected to have a major detrimental effect on the lake’s future health. . .
Look at it as a challenge – Bryan Gibson:
The line painted on Rob Craig’s haybarn, marked 2004, is a reminder of the devastating floods of a decade ago.
But heavy rain is often enough to jog Craig’s memory, as it did last weekend.
“I didn’t sleep well on Friday night, to be honest. It was bucketing down with rain. Ever since ’04 it’s always in the back of your mind when it’s raining heavily. It just kept raining and raining and I got a pretty bad feeling then that it was going to be bad.” . . .
Lake Opuha reaps the winter harvest – Tim Cronshaw:
A rich snow harvest in the Fairlie basin is providing an unexpected windfall for lowland farmers needing Lake Opuha to fully recharge for the next irrigation season.
After being closed to irrigating in February the lake reached “zero storage” for the first time in 17 years and had been slow to return to its normal levels over autumn.
The lake will be boosted by the initial snow melt in the lower basin with lake levels expected to continue rising as deeper snow in the Two Thumb Range thaws in spring, but more water is needed for it to totally refill. . .
(BusinessDesk) – New Zealand’s 2014/15 wool season ended this week with what is expected to be the smallest percentage of the clip sold through auctions in at least seven years, as more farmers were attracted to the premium prices and protection from commodity price volatility offered in private sales.
The auction system’s share of wool is expected to continue to shrink. An estimated 464,000 bales are expected to come up for auction in the 2015/16 year, down from 480,000 bales in 2014/15 and 493,000 bales in 2013/14, according to Wool Services International executive Malcolm Ching, who is on the roster committee which estimates wool bale supply for the auctions. Ching said the committee has been forced to revise down its estimates in recent years to reflect declining sheep numbers and an increased amount of wool circumventing the auction system. . .
- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
- We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
- War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Philosophy is wondering if it would make a good smoothie.
- Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
- Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
- I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is often another woman.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
- The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
- A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
- Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
- I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
- When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
- You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
- Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
- Two wrongs don’t make a right—but three lefts do.
- Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
- A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
- If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
The Flag Consideration Panel is inviting people to upload designs for a new flag.
There are more than 4000 in the gallery.
This is Maori Fern Flag by Mya Charlton:
Saturday’s soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation. You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, amuse, bemuse or simply muse but not to abuse.
The truth about success.
People see the tip of the iceberg – success.
What they don’t see is underneath: hard work, risk, late nights, struggles, failures, persistence, action, discipline, courage, doubts, changes, criticism, disappointments, adversity, rejections, sacrifices.
1358 Republic of Dubrovnik was founded.
1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII of Sweden at the Battle of Poltava.
1743 War of the Austrian Succession: Battle of Dettingen: On the battlefield in Bavaria, George II personally led troops into battle. The last time that a British monarch would command troops in the field.
1759 General James Wolfe began the siege of Quebec.
1838 Paul von Mauser, German weapon designer, was born (d. 1914)
1844 Joseph Smith, Jr., founder of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and his brother Hyrum Smith, were murdered by a mob at the Carthage, Illinois jail.
1846 Charles Stewart Parnell, Irish independence fighter, was born (d. 1891).
1850 Jørgen Pedersen Gram, Danish mathematician, was born (d. 1919).
1865 Sir John Monash, Australian military commander, was born (d. 1931).
1869 Emma Goldman, Lithuanian/American anarchist and feminist, was born (d. 1940).
1880 Helen Keller, American deaf and blind activist, was born (d. 1968).
1895 The inaugural run of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad’s Royal Blue from Washington, D.C., to New York City, the first U.S. passenger train to use electric locomotives.
1898 The first solo circumnavigation of the globe was completed by Joshua Slocum.
1905 (June 14 according to the Julian calendar): Battleship Potemkin uprising: sailors started a mutiny aboard the Battleship Potemkin, denouncing the crimes of autocracy, demanding liberty and an end to war.
1923 Capt. Lowell H. Smith and Lt. John P. Richter performed the first ever aerial refueling in a DH-4B biplane.
1941 Romanian governmental forces, allies of Nazi Germany, launched one of the most violent pogroms in Jewish history in the city of Iaşi, resulting in the murder of at least 13,266 Jews.
1941 German troops captured the city of Białystok during Operation Barbarossa.
1942 Bruce Johnston, American musician (The Beach Boys) was born.
1950 The United States decided to send troops to fight in the Korean War.
1951 Mary McAleese, President of Ireland, was born.
1954 The world’s first nuclear power station opened in Obninsk, near Moscow.
1967 The world’s first ATM was installed in Enfield, London.
1970 John Eales, Australian Rugby Player, was born.
1973 The President of Uruguay, Juan María Bordaberry, dissolved Parliament and headed a coup d’état.
1974 U.S president Richard Nixon visited the U.S.S.R..
1975 Mark Williams reached No 1 with Yesterday Was Just The Beginning of My Life.
1977 France granted independence to Djibouti.
1989 The current international treaty defending indigenous peoples, ILO 169 convention, was adopted.
1991 Slovenia was invaded by Yugoslav troops, tanks, and aircraft, starting the Ten-Day War.
2007 The Brazilian Military Police invaded the favelas (slums)of Complexo do Alemão in an episode which is remembered as the Complexo do Alemão massacre.
2008 – In a highly-scrutinised election President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe is re-elected in a landslide after his opponent Morgan Tsvangirai had withdrawn a week earlier, citing violence against his party’s supporters.
2013 – NASA launched the Interface Region Imaging Spectrograph, a space probe to observe the Sun.
Sourced from NZ HIstory Online & Wikipedia