Saturday’s smiles

This one’s for Queen’s Birthday:

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured young woman happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the woman’s lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”

That night the woman dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and shallot cream sauce.

And a bonus one for Ardberg Day:

A chemistry teacher wanted to teach her year 12 class a lesson about the evils of liquor.

She produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

“Now, class. Observe the worms closely,” the teacher said, putting a worm first into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. She put the second worm into the whiskey. It writhed pitifully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the teacher asked.

Suzy, who always sat at he back of the classroom, raised her hand and responded, “Drink whisky and you won’t get worms.”

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