Saturday’s smiles

* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway…

* Life is sexually transmitted – and it’s always fatal.

* Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die…

* Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks…

* Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs…

* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again…

* All of us could learn from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism…

*Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

* In the 60’s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal…

* Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first…

* You read about all these Terrorists that came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.

Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration and security…

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