Dappy – silly; disorganised; lacking concentration or focus.
A woman went missing and given the history of marital discord, her husband was the obvious suspect.
He was arrested, accused of murdering her and disposing of the body.
Witness after witness came to the stand testifying to all sorts of horrible threats that the accused had made to his wife.
The prosecution lawyer thought he had the case won when the defendant’s lawyer got up to speak.
“Ladies and Gentleman of the jury I have something quite exciting to tell you, if you would all please direct your attention towards the door behind me on my left you will see the supposedly dead women walk in on her own two feet.”
There was a loud murmuring in the courtroom as all eyes turned towards the door.
“Ladies and Gentleman” said the lawyer after a few seconds of anxious waiting, “To be honest with you, Nobody is going to be walking through the door, however from the fact that your eyes all turned towards the door it is quite obvious that you are not sure beyond the shadow of a doubt about my client’s guilt.”
To the lawyer’s great surprise, the jury decided that the man was guilty.
“But how could you say that he is guilty? Didn’t I prove there was reasonable doubt as to whether the woman was dead?” the lawyer asked.
“It is true that we all turned towards the door,” one juror explained, “but there was person who didn’t.”
Who was that?” the indignant lawyer asked.
“Your client,” the juror replied.
Stuff has a quiz about the new MPs – I got 7/10 with some guesses.
Saturday’s soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation. You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, amuse, bemuse or simply muse, but not abuse.
1147 The Portuguese, under Afonso I, and Crusaders from England and Flanders conquered Lisbon after a four-month siege.
1147 Seljuk Turks annihilated German crusaders under Conrad III at the Battle of Dorylaeum.
1415 The army of Henry V of England defeated the French at the Battle of Agincourt.
1616 Dutch sea-captain Dirk Hartog made second recorded landfall by a European on Australian soil, at Dirk Hartog Island off the Western Australian coast.
1747 British fleet under Admiral Sir Edward Hawke defeats the French at the second battle of Cape Finisterre.
1760 George III became King of Great Britain.
1813 War of 1812: Canadians and Mohawks defeated the Americans in the Battle of Chateauguay.
1825 Johann Strauss II, Austrian composer, was born (d. 1899).
1828 The St Katharine Docks opened in London.
1838 Georges Bizet, French composer, was born (d. 1875).
1854 The Battle of Balaklava during the Crimean War (Charge of the Light Brigade).
1861 The Toronto Stock Exchange was created.
1881 Pablo Picasso, Spanish painter and sculptor, was born (d. 1973).
1888 Richard E. Byrd, American explorer, was born (d. 1957).
1900 The United Kingdom annexed the Transvaal.
1917 Traditionally understood date of the October Revolution, involving the capture of the Winter Palace, Petrograd.
1920 After 74 days on Hunger Strike in Brixton Prison, England, the Sinn Féin Lord Mayor of Cork, Terence MacSwiney died.
1924 The forged Zinoviev Letter was published in the Daily Mail, wrecking the British Labour Party’s hopes of re-election.
1938 The Archbishop of Dubuque, Francis J. L. Beckman, denounced swing music as “a degenerated musical system… turned loose to gnaw away at the moral fibre of young people”, warning that it leads down a “primrose path to hell”.
1941 Helen Reddy, Australian singer was born.
1941 Anne Tyler, American novelist, was born.
1944 Heinrich Himmler ordered a crackdown on the Edelweiss Pirates, a loosely organized youth culture in Nazi Germany that had assisted army deserters and others to hide from the Third Reich.
1944 The USS Tang under Richard O’Kane was sunk by the ship’s own malfunctioning torpedo.
1944 Battle of Leyte Gulf, the largest naval battle in history, between the Imperial Japanese Navy and the U.S. Third and U.S. Seventh Fleets.
1945 China took over administration of Taiwan following Japan’s surrender to the Allies.
1949 IHC was founded.
1962 Cuban missile crisis: Adlai Stevenson showed photos at the UN proving Soviet missiles were installed in Cuba.
1962 Nelson Mandela was sentenced to five years in prison.
1971 The Christchurch-Dunedin overnight express, headed by a JA-class locomotive, ran the last scheduled steam-hauled service on New Zealand Railways (NZR), bringing to an end 108 years of regular steam rail operations in this country.
1977 Digital Equipment Corporation released OpenVMS V1.0.
1980 Proceedings on the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction concluded.
1983 Operation Urgent Fury: The United States and its Caribbean allies invaded Grenada, six days after Prime Minister Maurice Bishop and several of his supporters were executed in a coup d’état.
1991 Three months after the end of the Ten-Day War, the last soldier of the Yugoslav People’s Army left the Republic of Slovenia.
1995 A commuter train slammed into a school bus in Fox River Grove, Illinois, killing seven students.
1997 Denis Sassou-Nguesso proclaimed himself the President of the Republic of the Congo.
2009 The 25 October 2009 Baghdad bombings killed 155 and wounded at least 721.
2010 – Mount Merapi in Central Java, Indonesia, began over a month of eruptions.
Sourced from NZ History Online & Wikipedia