Saturday’s smiles

* Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

* Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins.
And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

* Golf is harder than baseball.. In golf, you have to play your foul balls.

* If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here’s a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.

* Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

* The term ‘mulligan’ is really a contraction of the phrase ‘maul it again.’

* A ‘gimme’ can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers …..neither of whom can putt very well.

* An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.

* Golf’s a hard game to figure.. One day you’ll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

* If your best shots are the practice swing and the ‘gimme putt’, you might wish to reconsider this game.

* Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

* Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work, and both are expensive.

* The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil.

5 Responses to Saturday’s smiles

  1. Andrei says:

    And cricket is organized loafing


  2. Gravedodger says:

    And Andrei perhaps does not and never has played cricket.
    I think of test cricket as “a five day chess game”.
    Was it Mark Twain who suggested “golf is a good walk spoiled”.


  3. Andrei says:

    Someone, not I, gave you a thumbs down for the googly you bowled me GD.

    How your little comment could attract that opprobrium is a mystery to me, some people are trigger happy I guess


  4. Gravedodger says:

    I must admit Andrei your initial assessment did raise a smile with me and ta for the denial.
    I guess after five and a half days in a pit or a factory many would see your assessment as accurate.
    Either it was as you say an itchy trigger finger or something more sinister who cares it is Saturday Smiles i’nt it.
    Cheers M


  5. fredinthegrass says:

    I’m not a golfer, but it does rather sum up my golfing friends.


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