Since it’s St Andrew’s Day . . .
Old Archie had served the Railway Company as Guard on the local railway for nearly fifty years, and when his time to retire arrived he found the parting a severe wrench. Hearing how keenly their old employee felt leaving the service, the company arranged to present him with an old coach to keep at the bottom of his garden to serve as a daily reminder of his active days on the line.
One very wet day some of his friends called to see Archie and were informed by his wife that he would be ‘on the train.’ Going down the garden they found Archie sitting on the step of the carriage, smoking furiously at his pipe and with an old sack over his shoulders to protect him from the downpour.
‘Hello, Archie,’ his friends greeted him, ‘why are ye no inside in a day like this?’
‘Can ye no see?’ replied Archie with a nod towards the windows, ‘they only sent me a non-smoker.’