How to make a wee party

How do you make a wee party?

  • Start with a bigger one.
  • Change from a united group with a common purpose to a disjointed collection of separate interest groups.
  • Use public funds for your election campaign then ask your members to help you pay back the money.
  • Lose touch with your base.
  • Stay in power for nine years, the last three with policies which increase the burden of state and put the country into recession before the rest of the world.
  • Have your leader announce her resignation the night she loses the election and anoint a successor.
  • Continue with policies which show you haven’t learned from mistakes made while in power.
  • Don’t go for renewal.
  • Look inward and let the internal disquiet spill out.
  • Keep most of the old wood.
  • Oppose every policy the government puts forward to increase economic growth, reduce welfare dependency and improve public service efficiency and effectiveness while reducing costs without putting forward any viable alternatives.
  • Keep your old high tax and spend policies and add to them.
  • Put your main campaign effort into opposing a single policy of your major opponent.
  • Lose another election.
  • Change your leader to someone who is not a fluent and confident speaker and is generally ill-equipped for the job of leading the Opposition.
  • Play yeah-me-too to policies put forward by another wee party which drags you from the centre.
  • Continue opposing a single government policy when it’s too late by trying to get a politicians’ initiated referendum and fail to get enough signatures.
  • Become second, or even third fiddle in an orchestra led by your potential coalition partners.
  • Look inward and let the internal disquiet spill out again.
  • Undermine your leader.
  • Change your rules to give unions even more power.
  • Continue undermining your leader.
  • Announce a policy to build cheap houses which can’t be backed up with reliable costings.
  • Continuing opposing every government initiative to improve the lot of New Zealanders without putting up viable alternatives.
  • Announce a power policy which drags you further left and which unbiased people in the industry can say won’t work.
  • Continue undermining your leader.
  • Keep most of the dead wood.
  • Get headlines for things that don’t matter – temper loss, swearing, gender quota for caucus. . .

2 Responses to How to make a wee party

  1. Great post Ele…


  2. Gravedodger says:

    What a litany of a sad slide to incompetence, almost depressing to see it all laid out.

    Some suggest former stalwarts such as Savage would be turning in their graves, hell they would not even recognise their once great party.


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