If you’ve ever wondered whether politicians could organise a booze up in a brewery, wonder no more.
Top Town Goes Political
TVNZ’s Heartland channel is looking at re-invigorating the old “Top Town” competitions, and invited all political parties to take part in a pilot show during the recent recess. MPs only had one task: to organise a booze up in a brewery.
Trans Tasman obtained a copy of the judges’ report.
National: Got booze-up sorted by doing deal with one of the breweries. Floated 49% of booze on sharemarket but what was a good craft beer at time of float fell in value and became Fosters and Joseph Khutz lager.
Labour: Women’s and Rainbow factions opposed the notion of ‘booze-up’ as heterosexist and patriarchal. MPs opposed a brewery in principle and then accepted invitation to the opening anyway. David Shearer popped in for five minutes and had a shandy.
Greens: Eyes lit up at the word “organise” – Greens LOVE organising things – but lips curled at “brewery.” Settled for small organic vineyard in Nelson where members gathered to work out how to exempt it and other Green businesses and landholdings from the capital gains tax which will go on all other businesses.
ACT: Organised booze up well, but no one came.
NZ First: Despite much natural talent, failed to perform. Raised continual points of order with judges, somehow obtained other parties’ team plans and leaked them to media.
United Future: Peter Dunne was unwise, even stupid. Disqualified.
Maori Party: Booze up in brewery went extremely well until someone asked Tariana Turia if they could smoke. Everyone then decamped to National booze up, where Maori Party MPs helped out by laying out the welcome mats.