Word of the day

March 30, 2013

Obeisance – a gesture expressing deferential respect, such as a bow or curtsy; deference, homage.


Saturday’s smiles

March 30, 2013

In the spirit of Easter:

LOT’S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, “My Mummy looked back once while she was driving,” he announced triumphantly, “And she turned into a telephone pole!”
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GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.”
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DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?”

“No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms

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HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”

One child blurted out, “Aces!”
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MOSES AND THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”

“Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?” his Mother asked.

“Well, no, Mum, but, if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!”
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THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible – Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.

Little Rick was excited about the task – but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”

UNANSWERED PRAYER

The minister’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.

“Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon”

“How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.

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BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?”

The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”

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UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER

During the minister’s prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy’s mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, “Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?”

Tommy answered soberly, “I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!”
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TIME TO PRAY

A vicar asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.

“Yes, sir.” the boy replied.

“And, do you always say them in the morning, too?” the pastor asked.
“No sir,” the boy replied. “I’m not scared in the daytime”
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ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, “And all girls.”

This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”

Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!

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SAY A PRAYER 
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.

When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. “Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.” said his mother.

“I don’t need to,” the boy replied. “Of course, you do.” his mother insisted. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.”

“That’s at our house.” Johnny explained. “But this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.


Weight training

March 30, 2013

This is a giant block of whatever is most difficult ...

By Brian Andreas at Story People.


Not intellect but real world experience

March 30, 2013

Trans Tasman observes:

The indication this week Labour would jettison one of its flagship items from the 2011 election campaign (the removal of GST on food and vegetables) underlines just how madcap the policy was in the constrained financial conditions in which the Govt has to operate. Until Labour’s younger brigade show they can compete intellectually, the Opposition will continue to trail in the polls.

You could well question the intelligence of anyone who thought that removing GST on fresh fruit and vegetables was good policy.

However, I don’t think Labour’s problem is lack of intelligence, it’s lack of real world experience.

So few of Labour’s caucus have business backgrounds, so many are former unionists or parliamentary staff.

That might have given them more than enough theories but it is no replacement for practical experience in private enterprise.


Yesterday’s buns . . .

March 30, 2013

. . .  have been eaten.

All that’s left is this photo:hot x bunsI used an Alison Holst recipe – it was easy to follow and the results were delicious, light and spicy.We shared them with Argentinean visitors who’d never tasted hot cross buns before which makes me wonder if they’re of British or Northern European origin?


Does DOC have too much land?

March 30, 2013

The job losses at DOC will be difficult for those affected but Director General Al Morrison says:

. . .  the new structure will maintain DOC’s own conservation delivery work while setting the department up to work more effectively with external partners.

“DOC must adapt if it is going to meet the conservation challenges that New Zealand faces – even if you doubled DOC’s budget tomorrow we would still be going ahead with this proposal.” . . .

There is no way the department’s budget could double in the current economic climate but has anyone asked why it would need to?

Could it have anything to do with the many thousands of extra hectares that have been added to the conservation estate under tenure review?

The costs of looking after the land are high enough when it’s part of a farming operation, the costs will be higher when done in isolation as DOC has to.

Left wing environment groups are upset at the prospect of the job losses but they are also the ones which advocate for more pastoral lease land to be retired under tenure review without any thought of the extra costs this imposes on DOC.

They also don’t acknowledge that the reason the land they want retired has high conservation values is due to the care of successive lessees and that if they were permitted to continue to care for it they would do so at no cost to the taxpayer.


Saturday soapbox

March 30, 2013

Saturday’s soapbox

Saturday’s soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation.

You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, to muse or amuse.
:) kindest, Boris


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