Obeisance – a gesture expressing deferential respect, such as a bow or curtsy; deference, homage.
In the spirit of Easter:
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, “My Mummy looked back once while she was driving,” he announced triumphantly, “And she turned into a telephone pole!”
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.”
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?”
“No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”
One child blurted out, “Aces!”
MOSES AND THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”
“Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?” his Mother asked.
“Well, no, Mum, but, if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!”
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible – Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task – but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”
The minister’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.
“Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon”
“How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?”
The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”
UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister’s prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy’s mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, “Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?”
Tommy answered soberly, “I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!”
TIME TO PRAY
A vicar asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
“Yes, sir.” the boy replied.
“And, do you always say them in the morning, too?” the pastor asked.
“No sir,” the boy replied. “I’m not scared in the daytime”
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, “And all girls.”
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”
Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!
SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. “Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.” said his mother.
“I don’t need to,” the boy replied. “Of course, you do.” his mother insisted. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.”
“That’s at our house.” Johnny explained. “But this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.
Trans Tasman observes:
The indication this week Labour would jettison one of its flagship items from the 2011 election campaign (the removal of GST on food and vegetables) underlines just how madcap the policy was in the constrained financial conditions in which the Govt has to operate. Until Labour’s younger brigade show they can compete intellectually, the Opposition will continue to trail in the polls.
You could well question the intelligence of anyone who thought that removing GST on fresh fruit and vegetables was good policy.
However, I don’t think Labour’s problem is lack of intelligence, it’s lack of real world experience.
So few of Labour’s caucus have business backgrounds, so many are former unionists or parliamentary staff.
That might have given them more than enough theories but it is no replacement for practical experience in private enterprise.
. . . have been eaten.
All that’s left is this photo:I used an Alison Holst recipe – it was easy to follow and the results were delicious, light and spicy.We shared them with Argentinean visitors who’d never tasted hot cross buns before which makes me wonder if they’re of British or Northern European origin?
The job losses at DOC will be difficult for those affected but Director General Al Morrison says:
. . . the new structure will maintain DOC’s own conservation delivery work while setting the department up to work more effectively with external partners.
“DOC must adapt if it is going to meet the conservation challenges that New Zealand faces – even if you doubled DOC’s budget tomorrow we would still be going ahead with this proposal.” . . .
There is no way the department’s budget could double in the current economic climate but has anyone asked why it would need to?
Could it have anything to do with the many thousands of extra hectares that have been added to the conservation estate under tenure review?
The costs of looking after the land are high enough when it’s part of a farming operation, the costs will be higher when done in isolation as DOC has to.
Left wing environment groups are upset at the prospect of the job losses but they are also the ones which advocate for more pastoral lease land to be retired under tenure review without any thought of the extra costs this imposes on DOC.
They also don’t acknowledge that the reason the land they want retired has high conservation values is due to the care of successive lessees and that if they were permitted to continue to care for it they would do so at no cost to the taxpayer.
Saturday’s soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation.
You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, to muse or amuse.
240 BC 1st recorded perihelion passage of Halley’s Comet.
1296 Edward I sacked Berwick-upon-Tweed, during armed conflict between Scotland and England.
1746 Francisco Goya, Spanish painter, was born (d. 1828).
1811 Robert Bunsen, German chemist, was born (d. 1899).
1814 Napoleonic Wars: Sixth Coalition forces marched into Paris.
1820 Anna Sewell, British author, was born (d. 1878).
1842 Anesthesia was used for the first time in an operation by Dr Crawford Long.
1844 One of the most important battles of the Dominican War of Independence from Haiti took place near the city of Santiago de los Caballeros.
1853 Vincent van Gogh, Dutch painter, was born (d. 1890).
1855 Origins of the American Civil War: Bleeding Kansas – “Border Ruffians” from Missouri invaded Kansas and forced election of a pro-slavery legislature.
1856 The Treaty of Paris was signed, ending the Crimean War.
1858 Hymen Lipman patented a pencil with an attached rubber.
1863 Danish prince Wilhelm Georg was chosen as King George of Greece.
1864 Franz Oppenheimer, German sociologist, was born (d. 1943).
1885 The Battle for Kushka triggered the Pandjeh Incident which nearly gave rise to war between the British and Russian Empires.
1909 The Queensboro Bridge opened, linking Manhattan and Queens.
1910 The Mississippi Legislature founded The University of Southern Mississippi.
1913 Frankie Laine, American singer, was born (d. 2007).
1918 Outburst of bloody March Events in Baku and other locations of Baku Governorate.
1928 Tom Sharpe, English satirical author, was born.
1930 Rolf Harris, Australian artist and entertainer, was born.
1937 Warren Beatty, American actor and director, was born.
1940 Sino-Japanese War: Japan declared Nanking to be the capital of a new Chinese puppet government, nominally controlled by Wang Ching-wei.
1941 Graeme Edge, British musician (Moody Blues), was born.
1945 Eric Clapton, British guitarist, was born.
1945 World War II: Soviet Union forces invaded Austria and took Vienna; Polish and Soviet forces liberated Gdańsk.
1945 – World War II: a defecting German pilot delivered a Messerschmitt Me 262A-1 to the Americans.
1949 A riot broke out in Austurvöllur square in Reykjavík, when Iceland joined NATO.
1950 Robbie Coltrane, Scottish actor and comedian, was born.
1954 Yonge Street subway line opened in Toronto, the first subway in Canada.
1959 Peter Hugh McGregor Ellis, who was convicted of child abuse at the Christchurch Civic Creche, was born.
1961 The Single Convention on Narcotic Drugs was signed in New York.
1962 MC Hammer, American rap musician, was born.
1964 Tracy Chapman, American singer, was born,
1965 Vietnam War: A car bomb exploded in front of the US Embassy, Saigon, killing 22 and wounding 183 others.
1967 Fred Ladd flew a plane under Auckland Harbour Bridge.
1968 Celine Dion, Canadian singer, was born.
1972 Vietnam War: The Easter Offensive began after North Vietnamese forces cross into the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) of South Vietnam.
1979 Airey Neave, a British MP, was killed by a car bomb as left the Palace of Westminster. The Irish National Liberation Army claimed responsibility.
1979 Norah Jones, American musician, was born.
1981 President Ronald Reagan was shot in the chest outside a Washington, D.C., hotel by John Hinckley, Jr.
2004 – Historian Michael King died.
2006 The United Kingdom Terrorism Act 2006 became law.
2009 – Twelve gunmen attacked the Manawan Police Academy in Lahore, Pakistan.
Sourced from NZ History Online & Wikipedia