Saturday smiles

* My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I ‘ve just finished cleaning.”
*  My mother taught me RELIGION. “You’d better pray that someone can fix that.”

*My mother taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that’s why.”

* My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. ‘If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

*My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

*My mother taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

*My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
* My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
* My mother taught me about STAMINA. “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

* My mother taught me about WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

*  My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
*  My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. “Stop acting like your father!”
*. My mother taught me about ENVY. “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
*My mother ! taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”
* My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home!”
* My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don’t stop making that face, the wind will change and it’ll stay that way.

* My mother taught me ESP. “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
* My mother taught me HUMOUR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
*My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

* My mother taught me GENETICS. “You’re just like your father.”
*My mother taught me about my ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?”
* My mother taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
* My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you’ll have kids, and you’ll know just how I feel.”

* My mother taught me about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. “I don’t always like you but I’ll always love you.”