New party formed to respond to crises

A new political party, the Armchair Critics has been formed to respond to crises.

Self-appointed chair Mr Clark Kent said the idea for the ACP came to him while he was watching television.

“Night after night, I sat there and watched a depressing series of financial, social, moral, natural and unnatural crises unfold and no-one’s been able to stop them.

“You see all these so-called experts, rabbiting on about process and procedures when they should be getting in there boots and all and worry about consequences later.

“All them shiny pants and boffins haven’t stopped the earth moving in Christchurch, they’re not even trying to turn the tide back in Tauranga and none of them’s even mentioned Coronation Street.

“It’s time to stop talking and start doing and me and me mates are going to do it.”

Mr Kent said Armchair Party policies would include compulsory conscription into a disaster-response army for all 18 – 30 year olds and tax-free status for super heroes.

The party slogan is you don’t have to be a rocket scientist and the logo will be a bloke with his underpants outside his trousers tilting at a windmill.

9 Responses to New party formed to respond to crises

  1. Redbaiter says:

    Very good.

    Maybe you’d like to explain why in 5 days of good weather immediately after the grounding nothing was done?

    Why was the offer of oil transfer barges and pumps made by Lancer Industries refused?


    I’ll tell you why.

    The bureaucrats that infest NZ life were too busy putting on their safety vests ,and their safety goggles, and their safety boots, and their white overalls, and sharpening their pencils, and readying their clipboards, and consulting iwi, and checking for compliance with affirmative action regulations, and getting their hair cut short, and fitting their big jangly ear rings to actually do anything aimed at stopping the oil from entering the water.


  2. Evans says:

    I am a super-hero.


  3. James Stephenson says:

    Have you got contact details for the ACP Ele? I thought I’d better get my application for sports spokesman in, ahead of the coming rush this weekend 🙂


  4. fredinthegrass says:

    When you get the answers Rb, post them – they will make horrific reading. Action is for the kids on Cartoon TV.
    Your post may be in jest, Hp, but it is uncomfortably close to the mark.


  5. homepaddock says:

    RB – #2 in this morning’s post:
    “2. Why was oil not removed from the vessel earlier?

    The heavy oil tanks on the Rena are serviced by pipes in the duct keel which was extensively damaged when the ship hit the reef.
    The time critical issue in getting the heavy oil off the ship was putting together the alternative pipe system to enable the tanks to be emptied. A further priority was pumping oil out of the bow tanks that were damaged to the stern tanks. An additional complication was intrusions within the tanks that made the job of getting the pumps in from the top difficult. Even if the oil transfer vessel, the Awanuia, had arrived prior to Sunday it would not have changed the time when the pumping could have started.”

    Evans – delighted you could spare the tiem from super hero duties to drop by.

    James – Clark Kent c/o any phone box.

    Fred – jesting often is.


  6. Redbaiter says:

    Good try Ele, but not really what I asked. I asked why there was a gap of five days before any equipment was even ordered from Australia.

    Any private company operating in a similar field has to have an Emergency Response Plan.

    This plan details the immediate response (not five days later) in any emergency and woe betide you if you are found (by the relevant government inspector) to be operating without one, or worse, not acting in accordance if there is an emergency.

    Where was the relevant EMP for this incident, and why was it not actioned immediately?

    Just you wait until you see the outcome of the Pike River enquiry. You’ll see what I mean.

    The local or central authorities charged with the responsibilities for wrecked ships should have an EMP and they should have acted in accordance.

    Government agencies should not be exempt from the regulations they strictly and enthusiastically enforce upon the private sector.


  7. Redbaiter says:

    errr, ERP and EMP same thing-

    Emergency Response Plan or Emergency Management Plan.


  8. Richard says:

    Blogging encourages armchair experts, Redbaiter is a good example. But the MSM are making “hay”- or is it silage? on the issue
    JC in a previous post sums it up:
    “They are not reporting news.. they are trying to make it with their own staff as the stars.”


  9. Redbaiter says:

    BTW, I’m not interested in making this thing into a stick to thrash Key with.

    Things will go better there if every politician stays the hell way.

    Its a failure of the responsible bureaucracy rather than the National Party.


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