The Prime Minister has resigned and the Governor General has announced a snap election after Labour dirt-diggers uncovered a scandal.
“They always said it was the little things that get you and I’ve tried to be really careful. But I honestly didn’t think it would matter if I took one of the Sky Hawk fighter jets to play with when they’re not worth anything,” a visibly upset former Prime Minister told reporters.
“They couldn’t get the payment to the PR agency for my Letterman appearance stick. They couldn’t say anything about my decision to keep away from debates between the wee parties because they agree with me on that so they began digging deeper.
“One of their people happened to glance up while rifling through my rubbish bin and saw the Sky Hawk sitting on my lawn. There was no way I could deny it was there so the only honourable thing to do was resign.
“The people deserve an opposition which focuses on what really matters and the longer they were distracted by attempts to attack me personally, the further away they got from what they should have been doing.
“Now I’ve resigned, they’ll have time to work on policy development, help their constituents and begin looking like a government in waiting.”
The former Prime Minister was about to say something else but his words were drowned out by the sound of flapping wings from a herd of of pigs flying overhead.