A city lawyer was representing KiwiRail in a lawsuit filed by an old farmer. The farmer’s prize bull had gone missing when the railway which passed through his property was being repaired.
The case was scheduled to be heard but the lawyer approached the farmer the day before in an attempt to get the matter settled out of court.
The lawyer had practised her speech and did her best selling job, talking flat out. Each time she paused for breath the farmer tried to say something but she just carried on trying to persuade him to do a deal. When, she finally got to the end of her pitch the farmer just nodded and agreed to take half of what he’d been seeking.
A few days after the farmer signed the release and had the money safely in the bank he ran into the lawyer again.
She couldn’t resist gloating a little over her success.
“You know, I hate to tell you this but you should have gone for the full price for the bull. I couldn’t have won the case. The KiwiRail staff were clearly negligent, they’d left your gate open and were clearly responsible for the loss of your bull.”
The farmer just smiled and said, “Well, I’ll tell you, young lady, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because the bull came home back the morning you called. I was going to tell you but you were talking so fast I couldn’t get a word in.”
Homepaddock 
That’s an oldy! Here’s a truey.
The incident took place during the early 1970s in mallee country not far from Esperance in W.A. Names have been changed.
Background:
Mallee scrub is cleared by means of two D8 dozers about two hundred yards apart in line abreast, towing between them a bloody great iron ball attached to 300 yards of ship’s anchor chain. The going rate then was about $2.00 per acre. The process is called chaining and usually happened in winter. At the onset of spring the ‘chained’ scrub is fired and the land is roughly cultivated for the first time. When I say roughly I mean, by hell, it is ROUGH.
Anyway, a big time local cocky Bruce Wills was having lunch one day when a Holden ute pulled up at the house. Out jumped local legendary contractor and crook, Nick Carolli.
“Hey Bruce, I gota coupla D8s working ten miles down the road. You want that 500 acre block down the back chained? I do it for half price. Only a dollar.”
“Well yeah, Nick. That’s a pretty good deal.”
So off went Mr Carolli and in due course the 500 acres was chained down and Bruce Wills received a bill which he proceeded to ignore.
Three months later Nick Carolli was on the phone.
“Hey Bruce! When you gona pay my f******* bill for that chaining?”
‘I’m not going to pay it Nick.’
“Why the f*** not? We had a deal”
‘Well no that not quite right, Nick. You see, that 500 acre block is not my land.”
Very few people ever put one across Nick Carolli but Bruce Wills did.
End of story.
Funny thing is Ele, it was very hard to find any socialists out there in that mallee country.
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Slightly Off topic but then again it did bring a Saturday smile for “old gold” supporters when he valiant North Otago footy team held Canterbury scoreless, dominated possession and territory and generally had the best of the opening 30 minutes in their Ranfurly Shield challenge in sunshine at Rugby HQ “Rugby Park” Christchurch.
Finished strongly as well so they have had a great buildup to the Heartland Competition.
Due to the damage at Lancaster Park, all ITM Cup home games will be Afternoon s at Rugby Park, what a blast from the past that will be.
Oh and BTW the Nth Otago fullback was one BILLY Guyton any relation to our very own Sonny Bill I wonder.
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Celebrating North Otago success is never really off topic here, GD 🙂
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