The politics of cake cutting

National: for every dollar in tax cuts there is also some expenditure on priority issues dear to the public’s heart – this is the nearest you’ll get to having your cake and eating it too.

Labour will take the cake you’ve baked, share it around and, when pressured, give you some of the leftovers.

ACT will provide no cake. They will however, give the tax cuts needed to enable you to purchase a dietary plan of your choice which depending on how well you manage your allowance may or may not include cake.

The Maori Party will hold a hui and invite you to share the cake you bring as koha.

New Zealand First will ask you to pay for cakes that it will sell, give away or eat themselves as its leader sees fit.

The Green Party will legislate so you have to make your own cake from low fat, low sugar, high fibre, home-grown, organic ingredients and share it with your neighbours. It will also tax any fun you have while doing it, nationalise all the bakeries then force you to eat state baked cake.

 The Libertarianz will ask, “Why do we have to have cake anyway?”

11 Responses to The politics of cake cutting

  1. Cadwallader says:

    …and the Anarchists will have a bun-fight.

  2. Dave Kennedy says:

    Or alternatively:
    National will support the corporate dominance of the farming sector and let market forces determine the way we use our natural resources. Only the truly rich will eat the cake.

    Labour will check to see where public opinion lies and change their mind several times before finally producing their cake, by which time it will be past its use by date and no one will want it.

    Act has decide our future lies in mining, if you like cake imbued with essence of coal, help yourself. There will be little farm land left because of open cast mining of lignite and coal.

    The Maori Party is usually generous with their kai, however because of their coalition deal with National their hangi baked cakes have to approved by the parliamentary caucus before selected crumbs are made available.

    New Zealand First has a limited supply of cake that can only be provided through the presentation of a Gold Card.

    The Greens cake is made out of locally sourced ingredients that have been produced by local farmers who have been paid well because of the reduction in middle men sucking out the profit margins. The sustainable management of resources has meant that cakes will be available to all well into the future.

    The Libertarianz will say that everyone has the freedom to make their own cakes, with no restrictions or regulations necessary. It’s just a little tough on those with no access to ingredients.

  3. Richard says:

    Ele,
    You do not need a cake.

    National- you get a cup cake if current policies stand.

    Labour- you might get a raisin or a special grant.

    Act- who?

    Maori Party- food grown from ancestral land by the seashore-or fish from the beach at Karitane, Otago where Hilary Calvert has a large residence. “Alice” will catch it for you if she learns to hold her breath. Ops! sorry- Alice is Act.

    NZ First- same as the Maori Party after WP nationalises ancestral land.

    Green Party- move to Robert Guyton’s place at Riverton and live on talk and turnips.

    Finally, your farmers land is converted to beef and you live off Deborah’s recipe here-

    http://beefaerie.wordpress.com/2011/03/10/my-kind-of-recipe/
    cooked it last night-delicious.

    You do not need cakes to be happy.

  4. robertguyton says:

    Dave Kennedy’s response is the most considered and rational.
    Ele’s ‘National Cake Recipe’ sounds about as tasty as a mouthful of polystyrene!
    Richard’s faulty perception of vegetarian fare probably reflects his understanding of Green philosophy – hackneyed and erroneous and highly dismissable. You’re welcome to come down for a visit though Richard – I’ll re-align your wobbly world-view with some hearty Southland hot-pot:-)

  5. Richard says:

    Robert- everyone wishes to know what the “Green philosophy” is. Please elaborate.

  6. robertguyton says:

    Certainly Richard – just as soon as the harvest festival is done and dusted.

  7. Dave Kennedy says:

    Richard, this link should help, hopefully all you’d want to know.
    http://www.greens.org.nz/about

  8. Richard says:

    Dave,
    Thank you. Yes, been there, but Robert is very evasive on lots of issues when questioned about Green, political issues- particularly when he posts on other blogs.
    But I gather he is a new, and effective member, of Environment Southland. Got to get give him credit for that.

  9. robertguyton says:

    That’s very kind Richard – fact is, I’m not representative of the Greens and have no great depth to my knowledge of their policies and political thinking – never said or implied that I had. Perhaps you just assumed…

  10. Cadwallader says:

    The Green Philosophy is easy: Control humanity!
    Key words are: Ban it!
    Intention: Decry human achievement.
    Result: Icy despair.

  11. Richard says:

    Thanks Robert, Keep up the good work on ES We can be assured that you’re not “Green”, rather “green”.

    More information on “Bronze Brian” on your blog, please, and his farming implements- bronze – I like them

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: