Party Central moving south

The Waitaki District Council is thrilled with the invitation from the government to be the venue for the Rugby World Cup’s Party Central.

Council spokesperson, Gloria Fiesta said the District had no concerns about entertaining and accommodating tens of thousands of visitors.

“We’ve watched how they’ve done it up north and seen what a mess they’ve made of it, so we’ll just do the opposite of that,” she said.

“We’ll make a decision on the venue, make sure it’s up to scratch and be ready and waiting with smiles on our faces when the rugby fans hit town,” she said.

“We’ll consult our friends in Dunedin if we need advice. They’ve got a whole stadium half built while those Aucklanders have been faffing round deciding and undeciding.”

Ms Fiesta admitted that dealing with hordes of partying fans wouldn’t be without its challenges but was sure crowd control wouldn’t be a problem.

“We’ve survived the Indie Undie 500 passing through and we’ll have a few practice runs with penguins and sheep to  get ourselves accustomed to big numbers.”

Council staff had been investigating possible venues since receiving a confidential missive from the Beehive a few weeks ago.

“The Minister was running out of patience with Auckland and asked us to be ready to move if their plans fell over. Parkside Quarry at Weston and Elephant Rocks both provide natural amphitheatres which would make wonderful party venues. If they’re considered too far from town we’ll do something with the Historic Precinct.

“Those buildings have been there for more than 100 years, there’s nothing rugby fans could throw at them that won’t have been thrown before.”

Ms Fiesta said the town had several hundred commercial beds and would augment them with homestays, school hostels, old people’s homes and wool sheds.

“These people are here not just for the rugby but to experience our culture and you don’t get much more cultural than a wool shed,” she said.

9 Responses to Party Central moving south

  1. Adolf Fiinkensein says:

    Steady now. Next thing you know, some bugger will come along and slap a Heritage Trust certificate on every one of those damn rest homes and wool sheds.

    Like

  2. Fredinthegrass says:

    I understand the main way in will include raft/swim down the Waitaki river.
    Will participants get a ‘rattling rock’ as a reward for reaching the “venue”?

    Like

  3. JC says:

    I suggest the new Supercity administration puts a levy on its Auckland population to 100% fund the Southern Venue. This will help cover their embarrassment at not being able to organise a bog standard NZ pissup.

    JC

    Like

  4. Gravedodger says:

    I think Ms Fiesta was mis-quoted when she really said Oamaru had coped with the “Undie” 500.
    We really enjoyed the Victorian festival last spring and it showed how to have a great time without people rolling in gutters vomiting, swearing, fighting and passing out.
    I for one would be more inclined to go south rather than north to the land of dissension and disarray.
    If I owned an existing entertainment establishment in Auckland I would be very disgruntled at the stupid suggestion to waste Millions on an additional booze barn with a big screen anywhere in town when a temporary big screen in Aotea Square would do just fine and leave the millions to be spent on something that will be of value after the month of madness is all over.

    Like

  5. homepaddock says:

    Adolf – most of them are heritage buildings already 🙂

    Fred – There’s also talk of incorpporating the Moeraki Boulders too.

    JC – more good ideas like that and you could stand for mayor.

    GD – not a mis-quote, Ms Fiesta was so excited she didn’t want to let the facts get in the way of her story.

    Like

  6. Fredinthegrass says:

    No! Oh dear NO. Not the boulders.
    How about a ‘big’ screen at Fleurs?

    Like

  7. homepaddock says:

    “How about a ‘big’ screen at Fleurs?”

    She certainly knows how to organise a party and it would be one no-one would forget.

    Like

  8. adam2314 says:

    Sorry HP. I have to repeat it again ..

    Says it all really :-))

    Well done.

    Like

  9. How about holding it in the open cast pit at McReas?
    It’s more than big enough and the mining industry desperately needs some good pr right now. Gerry could pole dance. Or Mataura. Get that enormous lignite pit scooped out, for the sake of John Key’s credibility, shaken as it is by his blow-hard claims about ‘Party Central’.

    Like

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