Saturday’s smiles

Two blokes from Invercargill died and woke up in hell.

The next day the devil stopped in to check on them and saw them dressed  in swannies, mittens and balaclavas warming themselves around the fire.

The devil said, “What are you doing? Isn’t it hot enough for you?”

The blokes replied, “Well, you know, we’re from Invercargill, the land of snow and ice and cold. We’re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh.”

The devil decided that these two weren’t miserable enough and turned up the heat.

The next morning he stopped in again and there they were, still dressed in swannies, mittens and balaclavas. The devil asks them again, “It’s awfully hot down here, can’t you guys feel it?”

Again the two blokes replied, “Well, like we told ya yesterday, we’re from Invercargill, the land of snow and ice and cold. We’re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh.”

This got the devil a little steamed so he cranked the heat up as high as it would go. The people were wailing and screaming everywhere. He stopped by the room with the two guys from Invercargill and found them in “T” shirts, footie shorts and jandals drinking Speights and cooking a barbeque.

The devil was astonished, “Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying ourselves.”

The two Southlanders replied, “Well, ya know, we don’t get too much warm weather down there in Invercargill so we’ve just got to have a cook-up when the weather’s this nice.”

The devil was absolutely furious then he came up with the answer. The two blokes
loved the heat because they’d been cold all their lives. The devil decided to turn all the heat off in hell.

The next morning, the temperature was below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people were shivering so badly that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan
and gnash their teeth.

The devil smiled and headed for the room with the two Southlanders. He got there and found them back in their swannies, mittens and balaclavas. They were also jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.

The devil was dumbfounded, “I don’t understand, when I turn up the heat you’re happy. Now it’s freezing cold and you’re still happy. What is wrong with you two?”

The Southlanders looked at the devil in surprise, “Well, don’t you know?  If hell freezes over, it must mean that Southland has won the Ranfurly Shield.

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