This was sent to my farmer with no indication of who wrote it so I can’t give any credit to its creator.
A Five Day Cow
I long for a cow of modern make
That milks five days for leisure’s sake;
That sleeps on Saturday and rests on Sunday,
To start again afresh on Monday.
Oh! For a herd beyond suggestion
Of staggers, bloat or indigestion;
That never bothers to excite us
With chills or fever or mastitis.
I sigh for a new and better breed
That takes less grooming and less feed;
That has the reason, will and wisdom
To use a seat and flushing system.
I pray each weekend long and clear,
Less work to do from year to year;
And cows that reach production peak
All in a five-day working week.
Oh why don’t the scientific bods,
Firmly entrenched in their cushy jobs,
Show these ignorant breeders how
To propagate a five-day cow?