The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He had too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
He was only a whisky maker, but I loved his still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push an envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was arrested for littering a public street.
A grenade thrown into carpet shop in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If a short fortune-teller escaped from prison he would be a small medium, at large.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
Teop the backward poet writes in-verse.
In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
If cannibals eat a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
You shouldn’t join dangerous cults, just practice safe sects.
Homepaddock 