Did you see the one about . . .

May 30, 2009

Recessions don’t hurt everyone at The Visible Hand in Economics

The Wesleys 1 at Musty Moments (numbers 2 -6 are also funny) Hat Tip: found via My First Dictionary at Kiwiblog

Cow breeding 101  at Kismet Farm

A New Zealnder opened a bank account today  at Watching Brief

Wondering at Craft is the New Black

Conversation wiht Myself about Obesity at Dim Post

Road Code Politics at MacDoctor

10 feminist motherhood questions from Blue Milk at In A Strange Land

Sommat Better at The Bull Pen

Extra-Ordinary at Bowalley Road

In which my cake geekery reaches new levels at The Hand Mirror


Saturday’s smiles

May 30, 2009

Paddy wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.”
“Without numbers?” Paddy says? “Dats easy.” And proceeds to draw three trees.

tree 1

“What’s this?” the boss asks.
“Have you no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9” says Paddy.
“Fair enough,” says the boss. “Here’s your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.”
Paddy stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.. “Ere ye go.”

tree 2

The boss scratches his head and says, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?”
“Each of them trees is dirty now. So, it’s dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99.”
The boss is getting worried that he’s going to actually have to hire Paddy, so he says, “All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.”
Paddy stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, “Ere ye go. One hundred.”

 tree 3

The boss looks at the attempt. “You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!”
Paddy leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers, “A little dog came along and pooped by each tree.
So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!”
Paddy is the new supervisor.


You don’t know what you don’t know

May 30, 2009

The ODT reports on an Austrian tourist who had to be rescued after going tramping wearing street shoes with a sleeping bag, a foam sleeping roll and a can of baked beans.

Search & Rescue called him naive.

“The man did not think he was in any trouble, but we don’t think he had an appreciation for conditions.”

You can’t stop people doing stupid things when they don’t know what they don’t know.

But is it possible to train people to think about consequences before they do things when they don’t know what they’re doing?


Deborah Wai Kapohe – NZ Rain

May 30, 2009

Day 30, the penultimate day of the tune a day challenge for New Zealand Music Month.

Deborah Wai Kapohe sings her own composition, New Zealand Rain.

Catching up on yesterday’s posts:

Fat Freddy’s Drop is singing Wandering Eye at Keeping Stock

Mi-Sex sings Computer Games  at Inquiring Mind


Kea steals passport – updated

May 29, 2009

It sound a little like the dog ate my homework, but a bird really did steal a Scottish tourist’s passport.

Keas are well known for being cheeky and this one got away with a courier bag containing the passport.

UPDATE:

Laughy Kate has a photo of the thief.

Porcospino has a copy of the kea’s passport.


Possums are now paihamu

May 29, 2009

If you’re old enough you’ll remember that kiwifruit were once Chinese gooseberries and tamarillos were tree tomatoes.

Now there’s been another name change – possums have become paihamu:

Once referred to as Australian Brushtail possum, the industry is returning to the Maori word Paihamu to avoid confusion with the American possum (which is a different species, looks different and lacks the silky and warm fur quality).

Call them what you will, they’re still a pest in forests and on farms.

They compete with native birds for food, eat young growth of trees , destroying forests, and sometimes dine on birds’ eggs and chicks. They also carry tuberculosis which is a danger to beef and dairy cattle and deer.

But their fur is wonderful, and mixed with merino makes clothes which look good, feel better and are very good at keeping winter chills at bay.


Cargoes

May 29, 2009

Deborah’s post on party pieces – poems you could recite by heart – prompted last Friday’s poem and subsequent comments on her post reminded me that in the dark recesses of my memory there were some poems, learned by rote at high school.

Among them was Cargoes by John Mansfield.

                                Cargoes

Quinquireme of Ninevah from distant Ophir

Rowing home to haven in sunny Palestine,

With a cargo of Ivory

And apes and peacocks,

Sandalwood, cedarwood, and sweet white wine.

 

Stately Spanish galleon coming from the Isthmus,

Dipping through the Tropics by the palm-grove shores,

With a cargo of diamond,

Emeralds, amethysts,

Topazes, and cinnamon, and gold moidores.

 

Dirty British coaster with a salt-caked smoke-stack,

Butting through the Channel in the mad March days,

With a cargo of Tyne cola,

Road-rails, pig led,

Fire-wood, iron-ware, and cheap tin trays.

 

              –  John Mansfiled –


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