About as useless as tits on a bull is the standard pronouncement on abject uselessness in rural circles but thanks to Mr Gronk I’ve come across another more genteel standard.
(I pause here to apologise to any readers of a sensitive nature who are upset by the word tits which is not one I’d normally choose to employ, but while breasts might be more refined and offer the advantage of alliteration I’m reliably informed that the coarseness of the phrase adds to its potency).
Useless as a chocolate teapot is not only a delightful and more refined phrase, the concept has been put to the test .
It may not surprise you but the chocolate teapot was found wanting as a recepticle for containing tea and its uselessness thus measured established the veracity of the phrase.
Whether or not that makes it more or less usefull as an expression of uselessness when compared with tits on a bull is still open to debate.
Hat Tip: Mr Gronk