Thou shalt . . .

North & South asked readers to invent some new Commandments for the modern age.

They liked Neither wear your jeans too tight nor too baggy but the prize went to W. Johns for several suggestions which included:

Thou shalt not worship thy plasma flatscreen nor covert thy neighbour’s iPhone.

Thou shalt not propagate chain emails (even forsooth the most heartrending ones).

Thou shalt not dominate dinner-party conversations with endless debate over which school to send your children to.

I can see the merits in these and I’ve come up with some more:

Thou shalt RSVP by the due date (thanks for reminding me ex-expat).

Thou shalt return the books you borrow.

Thou shalt not let your cell phone take prescedence over the person you’re with.

Thou shalt not shout in to your cell phone in a public place.

Thou shalt delete addresses on emails before forwarding and blind copy if sending to any more than a few people who know each other well.

Thou shalt accept that politics is a difference of opinion not a war.

Thou shalt accept that being different isn’t necessarily being wrong.

Thou shalt disagree with issues without getting personal.

Though shalt not honk thy horn when approaching a mob of sheep on the road nor shalt thou stop in the middle of it to take photos.

Thou shalt give your name and number clearly at the start and end of a message left on an answerphone.

Thou shalt not speed up when thou gets to a passing lane after travelling below the speed limit before it.

Thou shalt not inflict thy bad mood on innocent bystanders.

Thou shalt offer to let the person behind you at the checkout go first if s/he has just a couple of items and thous hast a trolley load.

Thou shalt remember – and use – your manners.

3 Responses to Thou shalt . . .

  1. stef says:

    Thou shalt give your name and number clearly at the start and end of a message left on an answerphone.
    Yes that annoys me as well.

    Perhaps I’ve been in Auckland too long, but thou shall use indicators and not rubberneck.

    Like

  2. Deborah says:

    Thou shalt not use your car to monster children crossing pedestrian crossing when they are walking to school.

    (Because – dork! – that’s one less car on the road that you have to content with, so surely you can spare 5 seconds to allow a child to cross the road.)

    Like

  3. truthseekernz says:

    “Thou shalt heed all the evidence, not just the evidence you prefer.”

    Like

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